It was only 3.30 in the afternoon and the caf didn't close for another half an hour. But the lady wasn't for serving.

Just about everything on the menu was off, she said. Well, there was still carrot cake, but I didn't want carrot cake. There was coffee too, but I suspected it would be served with the kind of look which meant that the waitress felt she'd had to grind the beans with her bare hands.

People in this country have a near legendary ability to put up with bad service, but I suspect their patience is being more sorely tested by the day, as mine was last week. And not only when looking for light refreshment.

I won't bore you with the details, but suffice to say I spent a lot of last week wrestling with the bureaucracies of a bank, a mobile phone company and an insurance firm - an unholy trinity of just about all that's wrong with customer service in contemporary Britain.

I am sure many of you know what I am talking about - you want to talk to a human being but get a pre-programmed robot instead. You want more information, they stick to the script. You want to cancel a service, they want to sell you another one.

I don't blame the people at the sharp end of these services. They're poorly paid and are driven by sales quotas and efficiency targets which are often impossible to meet. My anger is directed at the far better remunerated people who run these industries - and who are rarely shy about telling public services like councils where they're going wrong.

In the public sector we get things wrong too, but we've made great strides in sharpening our focus on customers. That's down to pressure from the Government and pressure from the public, but also because we realise we have an obligation to the people who use our services.

When they're dissatisfied, it's generally because their expectations of us are getting higher - and that's a good thing. It's the biggest incentive we have to get our act together.

But when it comes to the private sector I suspect most of us now have lower expectations. We get used to being told our call is held in a queue, used to it not being answered properly when we finally do get through - and, of course, being cold called at all hours of the day with a high pressure sales pitch.

The answer to all this is for consumers to be better informed and better equipped to take on the corporations. We should be insisting that they invest more in people-friendly systems and in the kind of training that ensures their front line staff respond like humans, not automatons.

If that means my call gets answered in three minutes instead of 30 seconds so be it. Efficiency is important, but so is the personal touch.

The cup of coffee served with a smile always tastes better than the one that comes with a grimace - even if it isn't as hot as it should be and there's a crack in the cup.

Changing the attitudes of big business won't be quick or easy, but it will lead to a more considerate and less stressful society, so let's all try.

In the meantime, if you don't want the carrot cake, you don't have to say you do.