MOST readers will now be aware that on Tuesday afternoon I was told that I had been cleared of any criminal wrong-doing in connection with Operation Lancet.

I knew I would be. I know this case inside out. I knew there was not a shred of worthwhile evidence against me, but it was still a huge relief that logic had triumphed.

When I was suspended two-and-a-half years ago, I had appointed a good solicitor and press advisor, and by Tuesday evening they had had so many calls that their ansaphones were full.

My home phone, too, had been ringing incessantly. Not being able to get through on the phone, some reporters had tried to get through in person, and for a while my drive as well as my phone was under siege.

Throughout my suspension I have tried to be fair with all the media. I understand that they have their jobs to do. In fact, I respect those jobs.

Sometimes, though, it is incredibly hard to be fair. Immediately I heard on Tuesday afternoon, I resolved not to say anything until this morning at 11am. I needed 24 hours to collect my thoughts - and I suspected Cleveland police needed time too - and work out precisely what I wanted to say about Operation Lancet and my future. I will indeed address all those issues this morning. And every media outlet will hear them at the same time.

But this course of action has presented me with some very difficult dilemmas. On Tuesday, I was refusing to answer the calls of journalists I have known for many years and have come to trust and respect. That was because I was trying to be fair, but it was very hard to turn a deaf ear to them.

My biggest dilemma was this column. I have been doing it now - unpaid - for three years. During my suspension, The Northern Echo has stuck with me and encouraged me to continue it. The editor's view has been that I am innocent until proven guilty.

I am grateful to The Northern Echo, but I am not beholden to The Northern Echo. I have not provided it with any exclusives.

In the same way, despite having me as a columnist, The Northern Echo is not beholden to me. It has retained its independence to write what it likes about me.

But I am also grateful to other North-East media. The Newcastle Journal, the Hartlepool Mail, the Middlesbrough Evening Gazette, Tyne Tees Television and the BBC have all reported my case factually and impartially.

But any newspaper that used me as a columnist would, today of all days, have expected me to provide a column. And, today of all days, any newspaper would have expected me to address the subject of my suspension.

So, choosing every word with even greater care than usual, I decided to fulfil my obligations to The Northern Echo. I hope I have kept my powder dry for my press conference this morning when all can hear what I have to say at the same time.

I hope I have also enlightened my readers - who would also have expected something from me this morning and who have followed my case with a faithfulness I am grateful for.

In recent columns I have written about the importance of good judgement. Now my judgement in writing this column this morning will be questioned. Only at my press conference will I find out if it has been good judgement.

I HAD to escape on Tuesday evening. I left my house and found a television. But it was no good. My stress levels rose even higher as I watched the football, and by the mid-point of the second half I found myself flicking through the channels to give myself a break from the tension.

No manager could cater for the number of mistakes that were being made. But I have faith in Kevin Keegan. He will make wholesale changes and, just as Arsene Wenger said, if he can find players with the technical ability to match England's natural fitness and passion, he will produce a team that can compete at this level. But the media must give him time - England's footballing history is littered with casualties who have been killed off by the press before they have had time to succeed