WITH just weeks to go before the birth of their first child and two months before their wedding, Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas are rowing over their prenuptial agreement.

She wants £3m-a-year and a house if they split. He is offering £1m and wants to keep any wedding present over £12,000. Two teams of lawyers have spent months going through the figures. The marriage can't go ahead until they agree.

And yet this is a couple reportedly madly in love, still in the heady, early days of romance. If they are at each others' throats now, what hope is there several years down the line?

Ugly negotiations over dividing up their multi-million pound fortune in the event of a split overshadow, and make a mockery of, the promises at the heart of their marriage.

Because if they truly can't bring themselves to believe they will be together forever now, isn't the whole ceremony meaningless? They would be better to get the lawyers to draw up a business contract and simply have a party.

Still, if on their wedding day, Michael and Catherine have the gall to stand up in front of hundreds of people and pull off the line "'til death us do part", and sound as if they mean it, perhaps they are both better actors than I thought.

TONY Blair shouldn't punish cabinet minister Mo Mowlam over her controversial remarks about the Royal Family. Whether we agree with her or not, she is merely sticking to the views she held before she was in government, thus proving her integrity, sincerity and strength of conviction - qualities which the public does not normally associate with politicians. Mo is refreshing, she speaks her mind. Her cabinet colleagues may not like it, but that is why she is so popular with voters. Most of us have had enough of gloss and spin - isn't it time we heard more from Mo?

THREE Scarborough teenagers each given a baby to look after in an experiment for a Channel 4 documentary this week were supposed to learn about parental responsibilities for real. But they only had the babies for 72 hours in a situation where they were monitored by parents, and health visitors were on hand to make sure nothing went wrong. It may have made entertaining television but to pretend it was a serious documentary was irresponsible. Did it really surprise the programme makers when one of the girls said at the end: "That was easy. I want a baby of my own now."?

A LEADING educationalist has attacked our interest in beauty, wealth and celebrity. The result, he says, is a generation obsessed with a "Posh and Becks" culture, where it is cool to be beautiful, rich and famous. But, Dr Martin Stephen complains, there are no intellectual or academic role models in the media. Is this really new? To most of us, Posh and Becks, just like Liz Taylor and Richard Burton before them, provide a little light relief in the midst of more serious news and reports. I don't think pictures of the corduroy trousers a Nobel prize-winning scientist will be wearing this year would be as entertaining.

THE six-year-old came running in the other day, roaring indignantly: "Mummy, mummy, Patrick swore at me, he said a swear word," as he pointed accusingly at his four-year-old brother. Patrick, head bowed, with big, weepy eyes and a trembling lip, was silent. "What did you say, Patrick?," I asked. "I'm not telling you," he said looking incredibly guilty. "But he was really nasty to me, he called me dumb." "OK, just tell me what you said." "I can't say it." All sorts of possible foul expressions were going through my mind. Finally, he muttered it under his breath three times before I persuaded him to blurt it out clearly: "Sexy."

SO far, I have collected three of the latest Buddha bracelets, which are made from semi-precious stones and are supposed to boost different areas of your life. The first was pale blue, for good health and then a friend presented me with one for happiness. I bought a pink one for her, for love, as she is looking for a new man. Then I saw one offering mental energy, enthusiasm and a zest for life, which I couldn't resist. I bought my mother a marbled black one, to promote contentment, and now wonder if I should get one for myself. It's not that I'm insecure, but I'm beginning to wonder just how many Buddha bracelets I can fit on each arm.