WELL, in my view, he's only got himself to blame. No excuses, please. No squealing about the horrible pressures of modern life on a young man.

When you do what he did this week and end up flat on your face in a public place, you've got to take it on the chin.

So I say to Tony Blair: forget about this week's dreadful performance at Prime Minister's Questions on Wednesday, dust yourself down and get on with making sure son Euan doesn't go out celebrating until the 2007 General Election at the earliest.

TO BE fair, our great leader was not drunk at the Despatch Box on Wednesday but my, was he incapable.

Or should that be ''exhausted''? Now as it happens, baby Leo was not in Downing Street this week. He was away with mum Cherie on a jolly first holiday abroad.

But surely, at least some of the shambolic events over the last few days and weeks are down to this little parental sleep-buster depriving Tony of his 40 winks at dead of night.

Now, this may be a world-exclusive but I suspect all this may not be lost on the keen mind that is Tory leader William Hague.

What with the teenage trials of Euan thrown in, the MP for Richmond can be forgiven for quietly shelving his own much-publicised fatherhood plans on the grounds of political expediency.

A case of "not tonight, Ffion and er... not until well after the next election".

MR BLAIR hates the weekly Commons' joust that is Prime Minister's Questions. Even your cat knows that.

But Tory spindoctors - yes, they have 'em too - came up with an interesting idea yesterday.

Namely, ''Frit''. Tony has been quietly avoiding as many duels as he possibly can by quietly making sure the Commons always packs up for its summer hols on a Tuesday - the day before the weekly Prime Minister's Questions (PMQs) slot.

''I think you'll find that under John Major, we always finished after a PMQs session,'' whispered the Tory source.

Maybe. But as far as the Labour Government is concerned, Conservative researchers have got it wrong.

Only once in the last three years was it bucket and spades time on a Tuesday.

And later this month, we joyfully pack up on a... Friday.

GERRY Steinberg is a long-time campaigner for more openness about the cost of the Royal Family.

If the Durham City Labour MP had his way, the National Audit Office would be there checking just how much Winalot the Windsor corgis get through each week.

So before Tony Blair this week announced that he was pegging the cost of the Civil List subsidy for the Royal Household to a miserly £7.9m a year for the next decade, Gerry rolled up to a private briefing with the treasurer of the said Household.

There, he learnt that the Civil List allocation pays for, among other things, the gas and electricity bill for Buck House.

But most of it goes on salaries for staff. So Gerry demanded to know the details.

''Oh, it's a very wide - all the way up to £120,000 plus bonuses,'' said the official.

''And what are you on?'' asked Mr Steinberg, in his usual gentle round-one, seconds-out style.

''I'm on the £120,000 plus bonuses,'' purred the regal representative.

BRACE yourselves for a mini New Labour earthquake.

Loyal backbenchers across the land have been gleefully announcing that their pager numbers have changed because party HQ at Millbank has been dishing out super new models.

But shock of shocks, arch-spinner Fraser Kemp, MP for Houghton and Washington East, has turned down the offer and is sticking to his trusty old machine.

Maybe he's frightened of all the hi-tech operations the new pagers can perform.

I hear Ashok Kumar, MP for Middlesbrough South and East Cleveland, has had trouble and has hit the ''off'' button for at least one of the futuristic functions.