Actor Michael Douglas's dream of holding fiancee Catherine Zeta Jones's hand during the birth of their son came true. But the couple did not share the intimate moment alone. The practice of inviting others to share in your childbirth joy is becoming increasingly popular. But is it wise? Georgina Pattinson reports

WHEN is two company and three a crowd? When you're on the way to the delivery room...

Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas have celebrated the birth of their baby boy Dylan in Los Angeles - but they were not alone. Zeta Jones's mother was also present to watch the delivery of the baby boy.

In the past, the father of the new child paced the hospital corridors while the expectant mother gave birth behind closed doors, with the help of a midwife or doctor.

Now, the fashion for inviting others to share in the joy of a new birth is becoming increasingly popular. Friends, mothers and birthing professionals can all be present at the birth of a long-awaited baby, making the scene round the bed look more like performance art than the emergence of a new life into the world.

Family-orientated Victoria Beckham welcomed her mother and sister along to the hospital as Brooklyn entered the world with proud father David Beckham also present. Despite the inclusion of the couple's family in their joyous moment, the Beckhams did manage to spend a few precious moments alone together with their new baby, according to a spokesman.

But is it really necessary to have a crowd of friends and family present during the delivery of your child?

Says Janice Muir, from the National Childbirth Trust: "Although mothers may initially decide to have quite a few people there, it's quite stressful for both parties and it can cause anxiety. You need to think carefully about it and make sure all the people involved know everything.

''The NCT may have campaigned to ensure fathers can be present in the delivery room, but quite a lot of women say, 'Get him out of here'. And quite a lot of women are choosing to have a friend, sister or mother with them, even at the same time as the father.''

She points out that where and how you give birth matters as much as who you are with. For instance, if you favour an active birth - in other words, moving around when you give birth - it will not leave a lot of room for others to be present.

Muir says: ''If you have to give birth in hospital, there's not a lot of room. If you want to have a water birth, you can't have everyone in the pool. And if you're going to be at home, you're likely to have a lot of your family around.

''But you've got to work on the basis that it is stressful and takes a lot of energy and it's probably more stressful for those around than it is for the mother. What we say is do whatever you feel comfortable with - and it doesn't have to be having your husband there. But if you do, make the choice early on so that the person is aware.''

She points out that many women are opting for the security of having a mother, sister or friend around because these women have been through the experience themselves. An inexperienced birthing partner may communicate shock or worry and having someone who is aware of the process around is valuable.

Not only can experience be provided by mothers, sisters or friends - it can also be provided by helpers called doulas, mothers who give support and emotional help to women during the anxious hours of labour.

Sue Barry, one such doula who was present at the birth of her five grandchildren, says it's all about providing a welcome hand of comfort.

''We give support and the fact we've experienced it helps. You're an extra support in a womanly way. It's more common now for mothers or doulas to be around. They provide understanding and empathy - if you know the person either because you're a mother or doula, they can relay their fears beforehand and you can reassure them that what's happening is normal.

''You can also offer practical and emotional support, especially to the partner. Often they haven't got a clue what's happening and you can provide reassurance.''

But she emphasises that the mother has to be comfortable with what is happening. Sarah Edwards, editor of Webbaby.co.uk, Internet parenting experts, agrees and says that a woman's choices have widened massively, allowing her to decide exactly who can be present at a birth.

''It's wonderful that Catherine Zeta Jones had the choice to invite her mother to witness the birth of her first child,'' says Edwards. ''The fact she was given this option shows how far we have progressed in the etiquette governing what happens in the labour room.

''The whole experience of pregnancy, birth and parenthood today has progressed to a hands-on and help approach which many modern families support.''

l Top Notch Doulas provides doulas for women round Britain. Call 020-7565 2640.

WRITE TO US

Did you have a friend or relation at the birth of your child? Did you invite the whole street? Or do you think the labour ward is for women and their partners only? Write and tell us about your experiences. To Features Editor, The Northern Echo, Priestgate, Darlington DL1 1NF.