Backtrack by Mike Amos

Harry, happily, was resilient enough to invite us to watch one of his stable in the first at Thirsk on Monday evening - owners' badges to be left at the gate, he said, but in any case they all knew him round there.

We went with the column's twin brother, whose acquaintance readers may not hitherto have made. Younger by 20 minutes, he is altogether more knowledgeable - indeed, could hardly be greener - about the turf.

The column bets only on certainties - like beating Fat James at 5s and 3s or the train leaving on time when you're 30 seconds late - and therefore never on horses.

Dave bets on anything with four legs, which probably includes the kitchen table and the League Cup semi-finals. The happiest thing about Christmas is to him the Boxing Day meeting at Sedgefield; paradise is the pub in Billingham with an en-suite betting shop, his recent foreign holiday wholly financed by a 12-1 at Newbury.

We arrived at 5.30pm. "I bet you it rains," he said.

The gateman, alas, appeared not to have heard of Harry Whitton - "You must know him," we said, "he's a friend of the famous" - but nodded us through, anyway.

Since Codicil was in the first - where there's a will - we headed straight for the parade ring in the hope of locating our gentlemanly host, an 87-year-old former electrical dealer.

En route, however, we bumped into Mr Pat Green, which proved Dave's first piece of good fortune.

Pat is marketing director of the renowned Black Sheep Brewery, who just happened to have a hospitality tent near the finishing post. Whilst the senior brother is these days restricted to warfarin and pep (or some such credulous cocktail), Dave cheerfully befriended the free bar, though limiting himself to just the one pint between each race and one or two fore and after.

Which of us is the black sheep of this family, the jobbing journalist or the college lecturer, is - of course - an entirely different matter.

Codicil is trained by Michael Dods, near Piercebridge. That it failed to win, barely even wagged the tail, was because Kevin Darley began a night to remember with victory on Margaret's Dancer.

Dave backed it at 8-1, the hospitality tent jigging, too. "We're all called Margaret," said Margaret Fox, landlady of the Buck Inn at Thornton Watlass.

We also bumped into Kenny Beagle who has the Newbus Arms at Neasham, Edward Boynton who has the Nags Head at Pickhill and Derek Beckwith who hasn't anywhere at all but used to be in the Fleece in Northallerton.

Mr Boynton, an amateur rider himself, had recently sponsored the Shame Not To Handicap at Catterick, named with a nod to his regulars.

"Another pint?"

"Shame not to."

The chap we didn't bump into, despite sedulous searching, was Harry Whitton.

Dave dived in the second, backed Darley to success in the third, failed to make a pile in the Calverts Carpets Maiden Auction Stakes - Charlie Darley, for once - won on Beauchamp Magic in the fifth and at that point was £222.75, give or take a few five per cent deductions, to the good.

There was a splendid buffet, too. Having killed the fatted calf and scared the hell out of the Black Sheep, he could then be seen tent flapping with Mike Fox, the Buck's learned landlord.

Mr Fox had had a tip, so directly from the horse's mouth that he might have been an equine dentist, for a horse called Distinctly Blue.

Forsaking Kevin Darley on Our Fred, Dave put his £20 on Distinctly Blue, owned by the Gloria Darley Racing Partnership. Our Fred romped it, 7-1.

It is fair to say that at 8.35pm on Monday, the younger twin would not have wished blood sports to be outlawed at least until he had undertaken some Fox hunting, but was still over £200 to the good and even pulled out a roll to stand the train fares back to Darlington.

Probably it goes without saying that the conductor never showed his face. Some folk were just born lucky; others were 20 minutes too early.

THE following evening shirt sleeved to Tow Law - Ernest Armstrong Memorial Cup final - temperatures still further raised by another border raid by Queen of the South.

Already the Doonhamers' Northern League Select X1 (Backtrack, August 8) includes ex-Lawyers' men Jarrod Suddick, Stephen Pickering and Tony Nelson. Now they've even offered a contract to Tow Law physio Kenny Crichton.

Lawyers' chairman John Flynn is unamused. "If I wear a kilt and dance around," he says, "they'll probably sign me on as well."

TALK also at Tow Law of a new book called Famous People of Brandon and Byshottles, written by Richard Ovington.

Its subjects include the late and greatly respected Ray Wilkie - Amateur Cup medal winner with Crook Town and Barrow's manager in the 1990 FA Trophy triumph. He and Richard Ovington played together at Browney junior school.

Ray's bookmaker brother Derek made four centre half appearances for Middlesbrough and rather more for Hartlepool.

Sadly, we are not yet able to reveal the identity of Brandon and Byshottles' other famous folk since Mr Ovington - who lives near Doncaster and was on Sunderland's books after the war - is ex-directory.

Originally, however, he'd planned to call it Famous People of Meadowfield. "He decided," says a friend, "that he'd better widen his scope."

THE prospect of a still more memorable evening - tonight's intended Lady Feversham Cricket Cup final at Spout House - has unfortunately been delayed.

Spout House, cricket's answer to Table Mountain, is in Bilsdale, between Stokesley and Helmsley. In 150 years cricket up t'top, no one had ever before offered them a cup final.

That it's shelved is because High Farndale, one of the finalists, has pleaded holidays. Methodist sensibilities notwithstanding, it'll probably now be played on a Sunday afternoon in September.

"Even with 18 overs a side we couldn't get any more night matches in," says Feversham League spokesman Charles Allenby. Probably, he adds, it would have rained tonight, anyway.

ALL THIS breast beating about exploding wage bills doesn't just apply to the big league. Last season, Scarborough's first in the Conference, the club budgeted for a wage bill of £541,000. Eventually (a little Seagull reports) wages came to £836,000 - around £16,000 a week.

Details of all this will be outlined in red at a creditors' meeting - there are rather a lot of them, including York and Leeds magistrates' courts and the Conference itself - next Friday.

It will also hear that, not including the bank, the big spending Boro are £1.9m in debt.

BULLDOG Billy Teesdale was sporting an uncharacteristically long face at Headingley yesterday - all that way, so he says, and Nixon McLean (left) again omitted from the West Indies' final line up.

Mr McLean, it will be recalled, was Evenwood's professional four years ago, and still keeps in touch with the Bulldog.

He'd rung at the weekend. "What's the matter with you. I taught you everything I know," said Billy.

"I know," replied Nixon, "that's why I'm not in the team."

ALAN Marr, another old friend of the column's, has been on with a problem. Alan's manager of the Wheatsheaf FC in Spennymoor, latterly reformed - re-formed, too - and hoping to start the season in the Darlington Sunday Morning League.

The league, formed in 1969 and once four divisions strong, has just folded.

"Last year we took in four good strong teams from the Bishop Auckland CIU League and they've just frightened everyone off," says league secretary John Parker.

"There's something wrong with teams in Darlington. They don't want to try to improve themselves."

Alan's lot, self-improvement personified, now have no competition in which to play. Everywhere they've asked offers no room to the inn.

"It's knocked us sideways," he says. "I've 23 or 24 really good lads, raving nutters but who'd rather enjoy their football on Sunday mornings than lie in bed sleeping off a hangover."

Their best bet's probably to take the place of a team contemplating resignation. Alan's on 01388 815694.

A COUPLE of clubs down on last year, the Durham and District Sunday League thrives nonetheless - six divisions, 74 teams and an ever-excellent handbook, gratefully received.

The handbook also reveals that Penn Fabrications FC has changed its name to Honest Boy. Either it's a pub in Washington or that great rarity, a secretary who admits to playing a wrong 'un. Probably the former, alas.

IMMORTALISED in Aberdeen, former Horden collier Jack Hather (Backtrack, Tuesday) never did represent the Scottish League. "There was a lot of talk about it in the 1950s but it just never happened," says Reta, the flying left winger's Aberdonian widow.

In those days, she adds, north was north and south was south and never the twain met - "except me and Jack, of course".

...the four football managers of the year in the 1990s - apart from five times winner Alex Ferguson (Backtrack, August 15) were Kenny Dalglish (1990 and 1995), George Graham (1991), Howard Wilkinson (1992) and Arsene Wenger (1998).

Martin Birtle in Billingham today seeks the identity of the championship cricket county which presently contains a composer, fruit, traitor, painter, explorer and cat.

We're in to bat again next Tuesday.