Like Wembley Stadium, whose last we shall see today, Newcastle's Roman Catholic Cathedral was strictly all-ticket - and with a little plan on the back, to direct the faithful to their seats. Like Wembley there was also a fulsome programme and a press bench, the latter additionally occupied by a little grey haired nun in possession (it was assumed) of a particularly long spoon.
What the press box at Wembley would make of a nun among their narcissistic number may only be imagined, though the word "apoplexy" leaps quite willingly to mind.
The programme, at any rate, proclaimed it to be a Mass of thanksgiving to mark the 150th anniversary (or sesquicentenary, as scholars are given to calling it) of the restoration of the Catholic hierarchy to England and Wales and of the formation of the diocese of Hexham and Newcastle.
Where at Wembley there would have been a message from Mr Graham Kelly, or someone of that sort, here there was a letter from the Pope, noting that September 29, 1850, marked "a special intervention of Providence in the unfolding of God's plan in the history of your people."
Like Mr Graham Kelly, the Pope is said to be infallible.
Dozens of concelebrating priests, as if martyrs to the metaphor, arrived clutching sports bags - though not, of course, as compendious as those in which the average footballer now carries the tools of his over-endowed trade.
Like Wembley there were stewards, too, the principal difference that those in St Mary's cathedral had no need of fluorescent yellow to make them stand out from the crowd and appeared not to be contractually obligated to be miserable. Quite the opposite, in fact.
It was to prove a glorious and richly jewelled occasion, for which credit is ascribed (as is most justly due) to Fr Michael Campion, the amiable cathedral administrator and former priest of Cockerton, Darlington.
Should Fr Campion have a moment or two before the 200th anniversary, he may care to organise a World Cup bid as well.
St Mary's was built in 1844 - "literally with the pennies of the poor" Bishop Ambrose Griffiths told his congregation - intended to be a "large and handsome church, an honour to the religion and an ornament to the town".
Six years later, however, Bishop William Hogarth not only refused to move from Darlington but tried to establish his cathedral church in Hexham. "A bishop may go into Newcastle occasionally on great occasions," he famously wrote, "but no one should be condemned to live there."
Like Wembley it has weathered many storms though it has been worn, and been cared for, very much better. A £1m appeal has nonetheless been launched to provide for repairs and to improve facilities.
A century and a half on, they came from all parts; the occasion so great that even Bishop Hogarth might have been inclined to get himself on the first train out of Darlington.
An MP or two were there, assorted members of the municipal chain gang, leaders of other churches, representatives of many of the 196 Catholic churches between Tweed and Tees.
The mass was celebrated last Saturday, doubtless a coincidence that Newcastle United were away from home and that there would be no clash of loyalties, though this column has long held that not only are nine tenths of diocesan priests Magpies supporters but that it is probably a condition of ordination.
In much the same way, nine tenths of Britain's heathens support Manchester United.
The music was magnificent - choir, soloists, organ, trumpet, harp and particularly the Northumbrian pipers playing tunes like Keel Row, Bobby Shafto (for which the Northumbrian pipes were surely invented) and the one about the Tyneside lad who was unusually bad in bed.
In a packed, mesmerised and otherwise silent church, how many priestly feet tapped to the tune of Keep Your Feet Still Geordie, Hinny?
They read a poem, too, a quite wonderful effort by Msgr Kevin Nichols of the Cathedral that sketched the history of the North-East, should be treasured everywhere and may perhaps be summarised in one couplet:
Faith is to be adrift in a small ship
In a squall, and know it is unsinkable.
Around 1850 there had been much suspicion, and open hostility, towards Rome's plans for restoration. Now Bishop Ambrose urged us to celebrate Catholicism's integration into the social and political life of the North-East and to rejoice at friendships with Christians of other churches.
Spiritually, of course, times remain hard. The bishop is somewhere on record as saying that on current trends, the diocese won't have a single priest by the year 2029; Fr David Milburn in his homily recalled that the immediate post-war years were high summer for the Roman Catholic church in England and that now they were in the autumn.
"We are surrounded by a veritable army of intractable problems, but there should be a determination on our part not to pull up the drawbridge but to seek a way forward," he said.
It ended with a cheery reception, a veritable feeding of the five thousand, in a marquee out the back. They attempt food at Wembley, too, but last Saturday was incomparable already.
l Down Your Aisles, a handsomely produced history of the first 150 years of the diocese and of many of its churches is available from Catholic parishes or (£10 plus postage) from Northern Cross, St Joseph's Parish Centre, St Paul's Road, Hartlepool TS26 9EY.
St Mary's Cathedral, almost opposite Newcastle central station, has also opened a new bookshop - and promises, says Fr Campion, to beat the discount that anyone else can offer
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