CORONATION Street celebrates its 40th anniversary this week and, despite it being a national institution, I must admit that I don't go out of my way to watch it.
However, I am often surprised about how its aficionados view it with an almost religious intensity. There's a millionaire businessman I know in Middlesbrough but, even though he's in the licensed trade, he never ever does any work between 7.30pm and 8pm when the Street is on.
Criminals are no different. If there's someone a policeman wants to question, it's always best to call at their house during Coronation Street because you can guarantee they will be in.
I remember 20 years ago, when I was a young detective, we were being briefed about a covert operation. Intelligence told us a known criminal was planning a raid on a shop in the centre of Middlesbrough, and we were to be there waiting for him. Intelligence also told us that there was no need for us to be there between 7.30pm and 8pm because no amount of plunder would draw him out of his house until the signature tune signalled the end of the Street.
We turned up at 7pm. Unsurprisingly, he didn't turn up until 9pm. And when we were questioning him he admitted that yes, he had delayed his raid until after Corrie.
Although I don't take much interest in the show, I do like trivia and this week I have been wracking my brains for the answer to a pub quiz question I used to know. What is the name of the cat in the opening sequence? If I remember rightly, it was Minnie Caldwell's cat, but as it is at least a decade since this last cropped up, I've forgotten the cat's name. Please tell me if you know.
ALSO back on the agenda this week is bullying. The case of the ten-year-old boy in London is absolutely horrific, but this sort of headline does serve as a reminder to the rest of us.
Bullying is disturbingly prevalent in our society, but unless the media focuses on it, it is usually ignored. It is most prevalent in playgrounds and it is often very difficult for teachers to identify. Therefore, it is important for parents not to be complacent about it, and whenever my daughters were feeling a little bit down I would gently ask if everything was all right at school. Their replies put my mind at ease, and I would urge other parents to do the same.
GLOBAL warming is another of those topics that doesn't go away but requires something dramatic like the floods to bring our attention to it.
Because of this, there have been even more eyes trained upon the negotiations in The Hague and I have been fascinated by the fall-out between John Prescott and his French counterpart, Dominique Voynet.
It was not surprising that, at the end of long negotiating sessions involving such a complex subject that she felt exhausted. And it would have been wrong for her to agree to a compromise when she felt she was in no fit state to make that sort of decision. I could admire her for sticking up to Mr Prescott's railing.
I also admire Mr Prescott. I know he's cussed and rude, but you can't doubt that he, too, is sincere. With an election looming, I think, once again, his down-to-earth bluntness will have an important part to play.
I'M writing this column in a service station on the M1. I have a meeting to attend in London and normally I would have taken the train.
Railtrack seems to be in a state of nervous breakdown, but the public too are dangerously close to becoming hypocritical. The delays are horrendous but our railways are now in such a state that we can no longer expect both safety and quality of service.
Railtrack may be attempting too many repairs too quickly, but we have to put up with it if we ever want to have trust in the railways again.
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