A WEEK or two ago, I was asked to comment on a survey which had demonstrated that children were more likely to associate Christmas with presents than with religion. "Of course they do," I was tempted to reply. Presents are at the heart of Christmas, and children know that.

The odd thing about the assumption of the person who was quizzing me was that he saw presents and religion as opposites. He wanted me to say that we should get away from materialism at Christmas and concentrate on the spiritual.

Jesus came, though, to demonstrate that this distinction is false. He came to live among us, to be born, enjoy life, suffer and die. The Christmas message sums that up in St. John's words, "The Word was made flesh and dwelt among us". Jesus came to share our material, human experiences.

That included times of fun and laughter - the wedding at Cana where the water was turned into wine, and of relaxation - supper with his friends Martha, Mary and Lazarus. It also included times of political dispute with the authorities of his day, times of agonising stress such as his anguished prayers the night before he died, and physical suffering. In all of that Jesus shared the experiences we have. He did not experience all of them - he never grew old, for example - but he knew exactly what it is like to be human.

Our own culture tends to want to be rescued from the muddle of human life. We have unrealistic expectations of our politicians - remember the euphoria after the 1997 election even on the part of many who had not voted Labour. Inevitably that has let to disillusionment as the brave new world failed to materialise. We want religion to rescue us from the pressures, doubts and pain of being human, and sometimes Christianity has seemed to offer that. But not at its best. Then Christianity shows us a God who is there, with us, in those tensions.

That is God's present at Christmas time. He is there in the parties, enjoying them with us. He is there in the present giving, in the generosity they express and the excitement of receiving them. He is there too in the sadness - the memories of those who have shared our past Christmases and who have died - and in the loneliness of those who have no one with whom to share Christmas. The best of the Christmas carols have a reference, a reminder, of Jesus sharing that whole experience: "Trace we the babe, who hath retrieved our loss, from his poor manger to his bitter Cross". So the Christian tradition has used the wise men's gift of myrrh as a sign of the God who suffers for us and with us, - "myrrh his sepulchre foreshows".

Enjoy the presents and the parties. Share with those who have little to celebrate, and in moments of quiet, at home or at church, try to imagine a God who shares in all your experiences, and wants to bless you in them. Then you will have the best present of all.

Rt Rev John Packer,

Bishop of Ripon and Leed