WHAT a week for Fraser Kemp, that New Labour running dog so famously close to Tony Blair's heel.

Fraser was already on to a publicity winner with his Ten Minute Rule Bill to replace the ''elitist'' honours system with one simple, egalitarian Order of the UK. But then up stepped Tory ''bovver boy'' Eric Forth, the MP who's quite capable of wearing a Union Jack tie to lambast this outrageous assault on Britain's heritage.

Ten Minute Rule Bills are normally just that - a chance to speak for ten minutes followed by no vote and no further publicity. But with Mr Forth frothing away at the class-war sacrilege, the Labour whips suddenly swept into action to marshal the party's troops through the Lobbies. Blyth Valley MP Ronnie Campbell was so excited at Fraser's victory he forget to tell the Commons clerk the result. And the Bill? Despite Mr Kemp's symbolic victory, that'll now quietly be forgotten - unless he can use his influence with the Prime Minister.

MONDAY morning and Alan Milburn is up, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, trumpeting the successes of NHS Direct on BBC Radio Four's Today programme just before 8am. Alan is rabbiting, sorry, talking at length about how marvellous the telephone healthcare service is with Today presenter Jim Naughtie desperately trying to get in a question. No chance. The Health Secretary smoothly talked on without a pause until it was too late for another nasty question. ''It's the old trick of talking up to the weather (forecast),'' snapped a frustrated Mr Naughtie. Why, of all the low-down tricks!

ASHOK Kumar was on the warpath this week, amazingly not about Operation Lancet or the Teesside Development Corporation. The Middlesbrough South and East Cleveland MP was livid at the record of Redcar and Cleveland council on using the new anti-social orders against nuisance neighbours. As revealed in a parliamentary answer, the council's record is a none too impressive figure of zero. Dr Kumar harrumphed at this ''miserable'' record. Maybe he should take it up with the Labour council leader Dave Walsh. They should bump into each other. Mr Walsh doubles as Dr Kumar's local constituency aide.

THEY'RE always strained, but central/local government relations were just that much more strained last weekend. At the great tribal fest that was the Tyne/Wear derby match at St James's Park, Local Government Minister Hilary Armstrong was perched among the Newcastle fans alongside ex-city council leader Sir Jeremy Beecham. Durham North-West MP Hilary is a Sunderland lass through and through, and my, didn't it show when Niall Quinn's winning goal went in. Sir Jeremy was not best pleased. But Hilary was, not least that the endless Beecham jibes against the Black Cats will cease until the next derby game. Some hope.

IN her next life, Anne McIntosh wants to come back as a House of Commons clerk. The Vale of York MP tells me this as she faces up to being turfed out of her beloved parliamentary office at Millbank and shuffling off to ''cramped'' new quarters the other side of the Westminster village. Apparently, her office been commandeered by Commons officials rendered homeless. Anne is not the first person to remark that the House of Commons is not just run by the parliamentary staff, it's run for them.

LONG gone but not forgotten by Michael Fallon. Or was it just coincidence that Mr Fallon, Tory MP for Darlington during much of Margaret Thatcher's reign, wore a black tie on Wednesday, the tenth anniversary of her downfall? No, it wasn't coincidence. Mr Fallon, now MP for Sevenoaks, confirms he was marking the Iron Lady's departure