WELL, shock horror - nannies are earning up to £22,000 a year. And quite right, too.

What was really disturbing about the survey, carried out by Nannytax, a nannies' payroll service, was that so many commentators (mainly women, alas) seemed aghast at the thought of paying nannies real money.

Odd, isn't it, that our children are meant to be our most precious possessions yet even the rich grudge spending money on their care. They'll spend money on showing them off - think of all those top designers who are now doing mind-bogglingly expensive ranges for babies. All that money, just to be dribbled on.

But as for someone who's going to care for them, calm them, soothe them, teach them about the world and its ways, be their guide and mentor and role model when their parents aren't there... every penny seems to be grudged.

We're talking about women who earn seriously good money. How can they haggle over their children's well being when they're not there? In a few years' time they'll probably be forking out an average of £10,000 a year per child on school fees. And £22,000, while quite respectable, is still not exactly supertax bracket.

We don't value the people who look after our children probably because we don't value our children ourselves. Or because we think bringing up children is such a doddle that it can be done by a dozy 16-year-old for a pittance. Depends on how you want your children to turn out, I guess.

If only children were cars... An average two-car family, with one smallish and one biggish car could easily, going by AA figures, spend £20,000 a year on their vehicles. And no one seems to be moaning about that. Says a lot about our sense of values, doesn't it?

Still, the price of a good nanny is apparently going to rise even more - up to more than £100,000 in the next few years.

So if one week there's a gap on this page - you can guess what I'll be doing.

BY buying from cheaper markets outside Europe, Tescos have been able to sell Levis at £20 cheaper than usual. Which has upset Levis a little.

Last week in the European Court of Justice, Levi Strauss claimed that shops should not be allowed to sell their jeans unless their staff have had special training. "Customers need advice on what's on offer, and the difference between loose and baggy, straight and slim," said a company spokesman.

The last time I bought a pair of Levis, the assistant pointed to a shelf and grunted, then grunted again and showed me a changing room with those cowboy-style saloon doors where the entire shop could see me struggling with a pair a size too small.

Frankly, after that, buying my jeans with the baked beans is pure pleasure. And for the sake of £20, I'll work out the difference between baggy and slim all by myself thank you.

IS it me? Or is there a basic design fault with communications from North Yorkshire's Clerk to the Justices?

Blame it on Senior Son, he used my car, got a parking ticket and "forgot" to pay it. So, of course, I get this communication from the Justices' Clerks. It was a flimsy piece of paper, covered with warnings "This is not a circular!" and instructions on how to open it. Pictures of thumbs and arrows. I felt like writing back with a drawing of a traditional envelope - much simpler.

No matter. We are now into a printed form, well, more of a booklet really. If you are paying up, fill in this bit. If you are not paying up, fill in that bit. If you own the car but didn't do it, fill in this bit. But in any case, fill in this bit. I think...

I have a degree in English and a Mensa-level IQ, but it took me three readings to work it out. And I'm still not sure if I did it properly.

The bit where we had to pay was so faint that I could barely make it out. Time they put a new cartridge in their printer. But I could see that the lad had apparently "caused an obstruction". That sounds about right.

Then there was the problem of sending the form back. Once I'd worked out the label ("Use label A if you're paying, Label B if you're going to court" - just like the Reader's Digest prize draw,) I was supposed to enclose cheque, fold here, moisten there and seal flap along the top. But then that left the sides open and as I picked it up to go to the post, the cheque slid neatly out.

I'm not sure how many people have to go to court for not paying their parking tickets, but I would beg the magistrates to be lenient. The offenders are probably still trying to work out the instructions - or looking for the sticky tape.

Half our children and teenagers have mobile phones now, so BT is not extending the number of public phone boxes.

Well yes, but without phone boxes, where are all the teenagers going to squash into out of the rain to ring each other on their mobiles?

Maybe Orange could build them some bus shelters.

www.thisisthenortheast.co.uk/ news/griffiths.htm