'WELL, so much for global warming, love," the reluctant swimmer may be saying to her braver companion as she dives into the icy water.

Can you do better? Try your hand and you could win a set of Pilot Pens, provided by our sponsor, manufacturers of fine writing instruments.

Last week's picture of a grounded yacht prompted a bumper bundle of entries.

Mrs Iris Clements says: "Cabin crew wanted. Nice people only, don't want to rock the boat." Mr R Palmer, of Newton Hall, Durham, has: "For the very last time: Come in number 7", and W Cameron, of Brandon, suggests: "The bottom of the yacht needs a lick of paint. Now is a good time, says captain to pilot."

"Carefull, you might keel over if you rock the boat," suggests Mr H Johnson, of Gilling West, Richmond, and Mr D Simpson, of Darlington, says: "This is one way to get high, without taking a drop."

Fred Berry, of Pickering, is topical with: "Fishermen, like farmers, have all hit rock bottom", and Mrs M Dixon, of Willington, suggests: "I think I've found Rockall." Mrs D Livermore, of Newton Aycliffe says: "The QE2 is not what it used to be", and Mr W Horrocks, of Bearpark, has: "What do you mean, did I see that submarine."

Eileen Allen, of Stokesley, says: "I told you to steer into a dock, not a rock", and F Clarke, of Thornaby, suggests: "I was told to wait here for high tide."

Wendy Cleave, of Kent, says: "I can't see Nessie anywhere, can you?", and, on the same theme, Stan Rylatt, of North Ormesby, says: "Making her presence felt. Trust Nessie to rise to the occasion", while Mark Finch of Bisley, Surrey, suggests: "Loch Ness monster displays latest camoflage headgear."

Mr J Clements, of Bishop Auckland, says: "Try our land cruises at rock bottom prices", and Mr W Slater, of Middlesbrough, suggests: "Conservative Party confident tide will turn in their favour and are ready to pick up floating voters."

The Cariss family of Killerby, near Richmond, have weighed in with a joint entry again. Mrs P Cariss has: "New-Age Noah arrives at Ararat" and Mr D Cariss suggests: "Michael Fish never said anything about a drought."

Sexist entries came from Ian Seccombe, of Bedlington, with: "Women drivers" and Ari Williams, of Windsor, with: "Women. You see what happens when I let you navigate."

Ali Prior, of Leeds, says: "Calm today isn't it? You can hardly feel the waves at all." Sylvia Carling, of Redcar, says: "OK, very funny. Who pulled the plug out?" and M Heightley, of Brandon, suggest: "I thought the Rock of Gibraltar would be bigger."

Anthony Rudd, of Middlesbrough, has: "These new speed bumps are causing havoc on my bottom", Darren Flickling, of Seaton Delaval, says: "The ride is so smooth Captain, you would never guess we were on water", and Louise Comb, of Worthing, says: "Cricklewood release new budget production of Titanic."

Robert Dunnett, of West Cornforth, came close, if only for buttering up the sponsor, with: "I told you this pilot would get us into a funny position." But this week's winner, for topicality, is June Wandby, of Darlington, with: "Captain Brown says: 'I've balanced the good ship economy but I can't budget."

Send your entries, on a postcard, of back of a sealed envelope, to Caption Competition, The Northern Echo, Priestgate, Darlington, Co Durham, DL1 !NF, or e-mail ilammin