ONE of the puzzles in the whole Steve Thoburn case has been that the fruit in question in the "metric martyr" case was bananas. Stand and listen at the greengrocery stall and most people ask for "four small" or "six not too ripe", not a pound or even a kilo. Before long, no doubt, the EU will catch on to this and order that they be sold in multiples of five.

Imperial measurements may have met their Waterloo on the greengrocery stall but, in the typical muddle that makes the law Mr Bumble's ass, they are still required on road signs, whether those signs are for pedestrians, cyclists or motorists.

Signs bearing distances in metres only are, in fact, illegal. A quick glance round most towns will produce offending examples, starting with one on the A68 in Darlington which gives the distance to the turning for the Memorial hospital as "200 metres".

What an example

RELATIONS at Yarm town council sunk to a new low this week.

The past couple of years have been littered with bitter wrangling and disputes among members, but in particular Labour members Eric Turton and Bob Stephenson and chairman Gwen Porter - largely over the medical centre car park which involved the use of some allotment land.

The accounts have also come under the spotlight with Messrs Turton and Stephenson actually issuing a statement distancing themselves from council accounts prepared for audit. The pair were heavily censured for that action.

But at Tuesday's meeting, Coun Turton crossed swords with Coun Peter Monck.

A row broke out over some information Coun Turton prepared for clerk Sandra Smith who was to meet the council's solicitors.

Coun Monck said this as good as said Coun Turton did not have complete faith in Mrs Smith's abilities and had been an unnecessary gesture.

Coun Turton took this as criticism and asked for a retraction, claiming he had only been trying to help the clerk.

Coun Monck referred to previous spats the two had had and suggested they "go outside and sort this out man to man."

He even branded Coun Turton "a coward."

Alternately scornful and furious, Coun Turton demanded the remark be withdrawn. But he waited in vain.

Embattled chairman Coun Porter pleaded for calm. "I have had this for two years now," she said.

The scene was one of the worst Specatator has witnessed at the often stormy meetings.

It seems others agree.

When the councillors were considering an invitation to the annual meeting and social of neighbouring Egglescliffe parish council, it was suggested Coun Jake Dale should attend as he had been at last year's event.

Coun Dale agreed but added: "I am happy to go. Last year's meeting was a salutary lesson as their meetings are far more orderly and efficient than ours.

"It might be an idea for us all to go."

Hear, hear.