There's nothing quite as satisfying as an unpleasant soap character getting a good thumping, especially when it happens in front of a large crowd of regulars in the local pub.

The person on the receiving end of policewoman Angry Angie's fist in Emmerdale was tarty toff Lady Tara, who thinks of herself as a lady with a capital L. She went down in the first round of the fight in the Woolpack, which is rivalling the Queen Vic as the scene of spectacular punch-ups.

Lady Tease is gloriously snooty, her nose stuck up so far in the air it's a wonder she doesn't need an oxygen mask. Of late, she's been putting a pinch of posh spice into the mundane life of haulage company man Sean Reynolds. Some might say she's taking her job running the local stud farm too seriously. One thing with which you can't argue is that this Lady is a tramp.

She's also been giving driving lessons to the Reynolds' teenage son Marc, leading the poor lad into thinking that she wanted to do three point turns in the back seat with him.

It was the last straw for glum-faced Angie when she found Marc in tears at being rejected by the toffee-nosed trollop. "Hello, hello, hello, what's going on here?," she inquired of her snivelling offspring. For she is an officer of the law whose normal opening gambit of conversation is "you're nicked".

Her protective maternal instincts kicked in and, pausing only for a commercial break, she headed for the Woolpack for a showdown with Lady Tease. A few less-than-friendly words were exchanged including mention of a two-faced cow, a rare reference to an animal in a soap which has abandoned farming in favour of other outdoor pursuits. Hay is there to be rolled in not fed to the cattle.

After cries of "slapper, slapper", that's exactly what Angie did. Slapped her. The episode ended with Lady Tease flat on her back, a position with which she is well acquainted.

The scene revived memories of seeing Anna Brecon, the actress who plays Lady Tease, in the street in Edinburgh during last year's festival. I don't wish to spread rumours but she was draped around Stephen Beckett, with whom she'd just appeared in a stage play. Then he was formerly of The Bill, now he's the new doctor in Coronation Street, the one who's so tall he has to do all his scenes leaning on the Rovers' bar or sitting down otherwise his head's not in shot.

On days like the Angie v Lady Tease title fight, Emmerdale can beat any other soap hands down, including the higher profile Street and EastEnders.

You can understand Angie's concern for her son's well-being. Not only is Lady Tease on the prowl there is also Charity, who does not begin at home. The name may be Charity but she's making Chris Tate pay for her services (and we're not talking ironing his shirts). So far she's rampantly heterosexual but it should be noted that Emmerdale, which seems to have only two dozen residents at the most, is the gay and lesbian capital of the world.

Zoe the lesbian vet has been in residence for years, enjoying the company of a succession of partners although where she finds them in such a small village is beyond me. One former lover, Frankie the lesbian trucker, has stayed around as a car mechanic and taxi driver. Then there's gay Jason who lives with gay Aussie Joe. The man from down under has married Trish, who's engaged to Marlon, to enable him to stay in the country. Trish is not a lesbian and Marlon is not gay. At least, not yet. He may switch his allegiance soon as I'm beginning to suspect there's something in the water in Emmerdale than makes people favour those of the same sex.

Somehow I can't imagine Jack Sugden getting involved in steamy man-on-man action with fellow inmates now he's behind bars as Emmerdale goes where every soap seems to go these days - to prison. He's awaiting trial for starting a fire in which his wife died while engaged in extra-marital discussions with her toy boy lover.

Jack must be livid at having his freedom and his flat cap taken away. The writers are clearly embarking on a last-ditch attempt to make one of soap's least interesting characters more interesting. Along with Dot Cotton, he's one of soapland's most unlikely criminals ever. Still, if they and all the other soap people who've been jailed were locked up in the same place, they could make a series out of it. The prison would have to be called Strangeways - a very apt description of the manner in which soap characters behave.

Flesh-and-blood actors must be fearing for their livelihood. Two of the three highest-grossing films in the UK last year were animated.

The computer-generated Toy Story 2 came top with a take of £43.5m, according to Cinema Advertising Association figures. Chicken Run, the first full-length animated film from the team behind Wallace And Gromit, was placed third with £29.4m. Separating them at number two was Gladiator, director Ridley Scott's Roman epic which won a Golden Globe best picture award earlier this week.

The other good news for the North-East is that Billy Elliot was 2000's seventh biggest money-maker with £16.8m. The movie, featuring Billingham boy Jamie Bell as a miner's son who takes up ballet, is now tipped for Oscar success.

UK cinema attendance overall hit a 26-year high with 142.5 million tickets being sold producing a box office total of £627.5m, a four per cent increase on 1999.

The full UK top ten: 1 Toy Story 2, 2 Gladiator, 3 Chicken Run, 4 American Beauty, 5 Stuart Little, 6 Mission: Impossible 2, 7 Billy Elliot, 8 X-Men, 9 The Beach, and 10 What Lies Beneath.

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