When they were devising the National Curriculum did no one think of working mothers? I work from home. I use the computer. Smaller Son is in Year 12 - what used to be the Lower Sixth in old money - and he uses the computer. There always seems to be course work, essays, notes to be written up NOW.

Already, you have seen the problem... We have to use the same computer. By one of those laws of nature, we always seem to need it at the same time. If I insist on using it until I've finished my work, you realise, of course, that I will have endangered his education, risked his entire future all for my utterly selfish whim to earn a living.

Handwriting? My dears just, no one writes anything by hand anymore...

We could, of course, buy another computer. He would doubtless do some work on it. He would also spend a great deal more time playing Championship Manager and other football games or downloading wrestling information, or worse. We are not buying another computer, anyway we can't afford it. So we have to share and share alike, which has turned the study into something like a stage set for a French farce. And that's only when his brother's not here and wanting his turn too.

I have just been interviewing the author of a new book. The book and my notes are on the desk.

Excuse me for a moment, he has some urgent English that has to be done for tomorrow...

Right, I'm back. The book and my notes have gone. Instead, the desk is covered with Darlington council election leaflets. Don't ask me - we live in North Yorkshire. Ah, this is apparently the English homework. Ah well. Where was I? I'd better get a cup of coffee to wake me up...

And in the two minutes I took to do that, he's nipped in and is checking his e-mail. I stand there, holding coffee mug and fuming.

My turn. The seat is still warm. Is this what they call hot desking, where two or three members of staff on different shifts use the same desk and computer? If so, then it's good to know that my son and I are at the very forefront of modern business practices, even if it is somewhere between the dining room and the spare bedroom.

He's back. This time it's History and the Russian Revolution. Doesn't anybody do the Romans any more?

His text books are on the desk now. Text books seem much more interesting than when I was at school. I waste half an hour reading about the growth of Communism.

Which uses up my turn. He's clutching a piece of paper and muttering something about China's one child policy. This is Geography apparently. Well, all I can say is that it's a long way from glaciation and the principal exports of South Africa.

What about people who don't have computers at home, even one shared with their mother? They presumably use computers at school. So why not... I am crushed by A Look.

I go off to make supper, listen to the Archers. When I come back, he's at the computer. But that's not China's One Child Policy. That's Championship Manager.

At last ! It's definitely my turn. But now I've finally got here I seem to have run out of space...

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