WELL, we've come a long way, baby. But is it in the right direction? After the slimline Sophie Dahl, the slimmer line Vanessa Felz, we have now seen the totally reconstructed Geri Helliwell - tanned, toned and honed, with frighteningly flat stomach, sinewy arms and muscled legs. She looks, it has to be said, stunning.

And so she should, she's put a lot of work in to look like that. Apparently she's been running six miles a day, power walking uphill, doing intensive yoga, consulted physios, nutritionists and homeopaths. And I don't suppose she ate too many chip butties, either.

She has totally re-created herself. All is changed, changed utterly. She has taken what God gave her, found it severely wanting and given His creation a total re-working. Couldn't we all look a lot better if we devoted so much time to it. No doubt. But would we want to?

Time was when vanity in young girls was briskly discouraged. "You'll see the devil in that mirror one day," my granny told me - which could explain a lot about my present wild appearance. But now we have young women, role models, whose entire lives seem devoted just to how they look.

Most women aim to make the best of themselves, aim to be fairly fit, eat sensibly and, after the total self-obsession of adolescence, find more important things to do with their lives. We drag ourselves to the gym occasionally, get the highlights done, buy a new lipstick, try not to frighten the horses and hope we scrub up well for special occasions. Looking that good, getting that fit, takes an enormous amount of time and trouble. So much so that it borders on obsession.

And, frankly, most of us have better things to do.

Ironic, really, that in the post-feminist era, we now have more emphasis than ever on how we look. We judge ever more on appearance rather than ability. Just think of the way Anne Widdecombe and Robin Cook are treated in the press. There is even now, God help us, a magazine called Celebrity Bodies, which presumably by passes brains and personality as well.

It's a trend that should make us uneasy. The new, improved Geri Halliwell is a glowing example of the effects of exercise but it's hard to believe that such an obsession can be truly healthy.

FIFTY is the New Thirty, says Helen Boaden, Controller of BBC Radio 4. Well, maybe.

But listening to many of my friends and acquaintances taking early retirement in their mid-fifties and then setting off on extended travels, degrees or voluntary work abroad, I think she's over-estimating a bit there.

To be seriously grown up these days you have to be at least 80. Fifty is just the new adolescence.

ANN Gloag was a nurse before she and her brother used their father's redundancy money to build the Stagecoach bus empire. They were so successful that she is now worth £200m, the second richest woman in Britain, poorer only than the Queen.

And now Ann Gloag has gone back to nursing. She's working - for nothing - in rotten conditions off the coast of Africa, caring for patients with cancer or Aids. She has donated much of her substantial fortune to charitable works, but now she's devoting herself.

Apparently, her decision was prompted by the suicide of her son two years ago.

When other wealthy people have been bereaved, many of them have turned to drink or drugs for oblivion, Mrs Gloag has turned to the old-fashioned remedies of hard work and thinking of others.

It will doubtless do some good for the people she's caring for. Let's hope it soothes her soul as well.

THE trustees for Margaret Mitchell's great novel Gone With the Wind, about the rich plantation owners in the deep south in America's Civil War, are trying to block a new novel written about the same subject but written from the point of view of the slaves.

Shame. It could be a brilliant idea, like those clever TV plays that show you two points of view at once.

But it could also start a trend. I've always thought the giant was hard done by in Jack and the Beanstalk - let's hear his side of the story. And what about poor old Dudley Dursley - can't be much fun having Harry Potter as a cousin. The servants in Jane Austen novels might have something to say about having to clean all those muddy clothes after long country walks to meet the beloved, or taking trays up to languishing heroines - or washing Darcy's dazzling white shirt, again, just because he fancied a dip in the lake....

DO you suffer from severe or chronic pain? If so, you possibly already know that the waiting time for the Pain Relief Clinic in Durham is over a year and there are 150 people on the waiting list.

In these days of high tech medicine, relief from pain seems a pretty basic request really.

Now a group of people in Durham are hoping to start a new group - self-help for support and understanding, while also acting as a pressure group in a bid to get something done.

The ultimate aim is to become a registered charity and so eligible for funding, which might bring about some action.

Amazingly, it seems there is no national group or charity specifically devoted to pain relief. This might be the start.

A meeting to explore the possibilities takes place tonight in County Hall, Durham. Committee Room 1 at 7pm, specifically chosen for easy parking and access. More details on 0191-386 4395.

Published: Wednesday, April 04, 2001