AND it came to pass in those days there went out a decree from Nice that all the world should be taxed. This was when Tony was Governor of the land, Gordon sat at the seat of tribute and Robin (him that is called "Fuzzy Face") journeyed in divers countries with vain exhortations and beseechings.

Now when the rumour of this tax was noised abroad, the people were wroth and raised a tumult in the City and did rend their garments and cry with a loud voice: "What is this tax which strangers would heap on us? Yea, we cannot tell what it is." And the people was much vexed and did cry out: "We have no portion in EU. Let Nice be anathema. And let the twelve stars, which are the very mark of the beast, be altogether cast out of the land. We will bear no more strange burdens, the CAP and the VAT but we will love the land that the Lord our God has given us."

And the prophet spake unto the centurion at the door of the palace and said: "Where is he that is great among men, whose name is Governor of all the people?" And the centurion answered and said: " Verily he hath scarpered."

When they heard this, the people made a great noise and inquired of the centurion to what part of the City the Governor had fled. And he saith: "Even unto the street which is called Downing." And they returned and came unto that street, and the press of them was very great so that they caused the iron gates to fall.

Now the Governor was in an upper room and, when he heard the noise of the people mighty dread came upon him, he and his wife and his little child. And he besought his wife, saying: "I am affrighted because of the multitude. Who shall deliver me from the tumult of them?" And his wife spake into his ear and saith: "Fear not, but send for thy physician of that which is called 'spin', even Alistair Campbell."

But the Governor saith unto his wife: "I will speak softly to them as in former times and peradventure their wrath will be turned away."

And behold, he stood in the window and his visage was set in a smile that did stretch from one ear even unto the other. And he raised his hands to the right and to the left and said: "Hi! Now look, I'm not that kind of guy, I'm this kind of guy!" And when they heard these words and beheld his smile, they waxed yet the more wroth. So the Governor besought the prophet of the Lord and said: "What wouldest thou that I should do unto thee?" And he said: "That thou wilt altogether remove the jurisdiction of a strange people, that they should no more have the dominion over us." Moreover he saith: "Thou hast taken away our vetos and we know not where thou hast laid them." And the Governor, minded to please the prophet, did open his treasure chest and say unto him: "Let us speak no more of what is called EU and Nice and vetos." And he taketh from the chest and revealeth unto the prophet an image of himself and his wife and his little child and saith: "Consider this image. Hast thou ever in time past beheld a family more glorious than my family? Lo, I will cause this image to appear throughout what is called 'the media', and the hearts of the people will be made glad."

But the prophet of the Lord was wroth and he cried: "This image that thou hast made, is it not more grievous than every strange tax and every burnt sacrifice thou hast made of our vetos? Behold, it is altogether a vain thing. Because thou hast done this thing, thou shalt be weighed in the ballot box and found wanting, and thou shalt be utterly cast out. For there is one Family whose image should be caused to appear at this season - and it is not thine!"

And the Governor's visage took on a terrible aspect. And lo, his wife turneth unto him and saith: "That's wiped the smile off your face, baby!" And all the people cried: "Amen."

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