MOST parents of young children will confess to feeling anxious about the MMR jab. For we are the ones who must take them to the doctor's surgery for the injection and then hold them tightly on our knee, reassuring them that everything will be all right while they kick out against the sudden pain.

How could we ever live with ourselves if anything went wrong? For we would feel we were to blame.

But we are not experts and must rely on others to help us weigh up the risks involved. And that is where things start to get confusing. Amid all the conflicting advice, the Government is launching a £3m campaign this week to tell us the MMR jab is safe. This could be a mistake. For any parents who weren't panicking before certainly will be now. Because we are reminded of government ministers bending over backwards to reassure us that everything from salmonella-ridden eggs to British beef, GM food, the railways and depleted uranium were all perfectly safe.

Hardly surprisingly we begin to wonder what the catch is. But far from reassuring us the MMR vaccine is safe, wouldn't they do better scaring us witless about how dangerous measles, mumps and rubella can be? Because, with the percentage of children inoculated falling to below 90 per cent in some areas and 75 per cent in others - these diseases are likely to re-emerge.

In the past, the small percentage of parents who have rejected the jab always knew their children were reasonably protected because there were enough immunised to keep these diseases at bay. This is no longer the case. Taking a chance, no matter how slight, with your child is difficult. But as parents weigh up the risk of autism from the jab, against the risk of death or brain damage from measles, it is clear that having a free ride on the vast majority of others who do immunise is no longer an option.

WHAT intrigued me most about the Posh Spice luggage theft case was that the accused made contact with her through her nail technician. Nail technician? There's a job title sure to break the ice at parties. Now, I am desperate to know more about Posh's lifestyle. Does she also employ an eyelash surgeon, a facial hair consultant and a tooth floss engineer? And is there a major trauma team on call should she ever suffer a bad hair day?

WE all breathed a sigh of relief when the Internet baby couple were silenced by a judge and ordered not to discuss the case in public. But why can't this sort of gagging order be used more often? How about banning Chris Evans from talking about his love life? Or Vanessa Feltz about her diet?

TV PRESENTER Ulrika Jonsson says she is heartbroken after her boyfriend left her the night before their daughter, born with a serious heart condition, was due home from hospital. "I never knew there was such unhappiness,'' she says. She clearly didn't give much thought to how her ex-husband felt when she walked out on him, taking their baby son, after a series of very public flings, or she would have realised there was a trail of such unhappiness - right behind her.

FIGHTER pilots at Dishforth, North Yorkshire are banned from having ketchup bottles on their dining tables because it is "unseemly". Lt Col Iain Thomson says: "People don't expect ketchup on their table during a dinner party, this is no different.'' Doesn't Lt Col Thomson know that the most stylish restaurants now plonk the classic Heinz Tomato Ketchup glass bottle on all their tables?

PETER Mandelson complaining about all the Press attention he has received in recent years is a bit like an Arctic explorer complaining about the snow. It goes with the job.

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