SORRY to name-drop but I was with Tony Blair - that other under-pressure father-of-four - the other day.

The Prime Minister came in to The Northern Echo offices to discuss the big issues of the moment: foot-and-mouth, unemployment, education, health, the Northern Ireland peace process - and that fact that his teenage daughter had just wiped three days' worth of homework off the computer.

Naturally, we discussed the difficulties of raising kids and agreed that it's the hardest job in the world. Being Prime Minister's a doddle in comparison.

He recalled our last meeting, at Hurworth Primary School, where he'd officially opened a new library and been at the centre of a rather embarrassing question involving our Jack.

After performing the opening ceremony, he'd been taken into the hall to meet the infants, sitting, cross-legged and wide-eyed on the floor.

"Would anyone like to ask the Prime Minister a question?" the little ones were asked.

A boy call Ben shot up his hand: "My friend Jack says he's been into your office but I think he's telling lies," he said, pointing to my third-born, sitting next to him.

Jack blushed as scarlet as a Labour Party rose as all eyes - pupils, teachers and Prime Minister's entourage - stared in his direction.

Jack's dad was left with no option but to step in and save his son's embarrassment: "I think he means his dad's been to your office," I ventured, referring to the time I'd been to 10 Downing Street on a press visit.

"Ah, yes, that's right - and he was very well behaved, your dad," replied Mr Blair, to polite laughter.

Back home, Jack was asked what he'd meant by telling Ben he'd been into the Prime Minister's office. Was it a little white lie?

"No, Dad. I have been into his office - he let me wear his big chains round my neck." It was then I realised that Jack thought the Prime Minister was the Mayor of Darlington who'd been kind enough to give the kids a tour of the Town Hall.

Mr Blair was filled in on the full details behind Jack's confusion and roared with laughter: "Tell Jack I might get to be the Mayor of Darlington one day," he said.

But that's nothing compared to the confusion felt by another little boy in the infants at Hurworth Primary.

When he'd heard who was coming, he'd got it into his head that he was going to meet a cuddly, fluffy character with appealing eyes, lots of teeth and a permanent grin.

Imagine his disappointment when Tony Blair turned up instead of Tony Bear.

THE THINGS THEY SAY

"WHY do we sent the Queen plums?" Janet Paterson, of Dalton, near Darlington, asked her mum when she was a little girl.

"Why on earth to you ask that?" replied her Mum.

"Because," answered Janet, "when we're singing the national anthem, we say 'Send her Victorias'".

Janet also recalls travelling to see Santa Claus in Middlesbrough and looking out of the bus window to see a small boy weeing against a wall. "What's he doing?" she asked her mum. Her mum, a little flustered, blurted out: "He's got a spout to wee up the wall with." Shortly afterwards, Janet was sat on Santa's knee.

"What would you like for Christmas?" asked Santa.

"I'd like a little spout to wee up the wall with," answered Janet without hesitation.

l Tickets are going fast for An Evening With Dad At Large at the Hall Garth Golf and Country Club Hotel at Coatham Mundeville, near Darlington, on Wednesday, May 30. The price of £15 includes a three-course meal and a Dad At Large after-dinner talk. Peter Barron will also be signing copies of his new book Dad At Large 2 - To Vasectomy And Beyond. Telephone (01325) 505240/505290 or call in at our head office in Darlington for details.

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