THE Chester Volunteers would get so drunk they'd have their weapons confiscated for the night.
And unlike their TV counterparts, this volunteer force were armed to the teeth. Instead of .22 rifles and pitchforks, they had field cannons, an entire magazine depot and an almost pathological desire to kill Frenchmen.
Thrown together in 1803 to protect the County Durham town of Chester-le-Street from the Imperial might of Napoleon's unstoppable army, they spent their time waiting and drinking . . . but mainly drinking.
After a particularly heavy night on the pop, when their noses matched their bright-red tunics, they proved themselves to be true predecessors of Captain Mainwaring and his band by ignoring the first rule of engagement - wait until you see the whites of their eyes.
Following a free session, courtesy of the Earl of Scarborough at Lumley Castle, their homeward staggers were interrupted by the sure signs of a Frenchmen - the rumble of a distant cart and the rustle of the wind in the trees.
Before you could say "Don't panic", the 2,500-strong population was evacuated and got halfway to Waldridge Fell before the hapless volunteers realised that it had been a false alarm.
It was not the first time that Frenchmen had been the victim of a cruel, but amusing, misunderstanding.
The legend of the Hartlepool monkey - where locals mistook a monkey for a Frenchman and hanged it - may never be beaten.
A new book, Chester-le-Street and it's Place in History, by Raymond Selkirk, carries the tale of the Chester Volunteers. It is the first time it has appeared in print since a Durham Advertiser pamphlet commemorating the 100th anniversary of the regiment in 1901.
Steve Shannon, curator of the Durham Light Infantry Museum, said: "The Chester Volunteers were quite reactionary and very loyal to the King.
"They were patriots who were opposed to the French. They would be itching to evacuate the town and show how loyal they were.
"The Chester Volunteers may have stood a better chance with Napoleon's army than the home guard in the Second World War.
"Warfare was more gentlemanly then."
The corps had been raised after the French declared war on England in 1793, then disbanded shortly after, before being revived in 1803, finally breaking up in 1811.
They made a comeback 50 years later during a fresh case of Franco-phobia, before being reorganised into Rifle Clubs that eventually absorbed into the Fourth Battalion (Chester-le-Street) Durham Light Infantry.
Nora Wanless, whose grandfather Major Robert French Gibson joined the Volunteers in 1883, summed up their role.
"They marched round a bit and paraded up and down," she said.
"Of course, Chester-le-Street only had about 2,500 people, but they still needed protecting."
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