'TWAS nice weather for ducks. Even better weather for Tories. There were some in Yarm High Street yesterday afternoon who were practically jigging raindances around the town hall.
It was not the excited anticipation of Michael Portillo's imminent arrival - although that may have had something to do with it - but the growing prospect of a downpour.
Yesterday's flying visit was the last set-piece of the North-East campaign which, until the drizzle, had threatened to fizzle out. But the shower - the first of the four-week campaign, agreed the regional Press corps sheltering under a shop canopy - might change all that.
The Tories' campaign has been aimed at getting their core vote out. That has been achieved, and now their perceived wisdom is that precipitation today will keep the less-committed Labour supporters at home.
As Mr Portillo strode purposefully from his car - the number plate of which anagram-lovers could quickly have rearranged into "one wake" - the clouds opened and the heavens poured.
Mr Portillo didn't mind. No jacket was required as he braved the elements for one last time in the 2001 election. Surrounded by supporters, he careered up the High Street, glad-handing all-comers - babies in prams, women in four-wheel drives, men in doorways.
And, with his muscular torso, his rugby-player's features and his vibrant hair, he had a strange effect on those - particularly the women - he met. They maintained their composure as they stared deep into his hazelnut brown eyes and held warmly on to his hand. When he left, they melted, many running back into the shops in an incoherent tizzy.
"It's just so embarrassing being on camera," said a woman recovering in a florists. Another in a financial establishment blurted: "He's sooo gorgeous, I could eat him."
Sex aside, Stockton South must be going reasonably well for the Tories if they can devote 20 minutes from such a high-profile performer to the constituency on the penultimate day.
"Here in Stockton South, it feels as if a lot of people have switched back," said Mr Portillo.
"That's why we feel confident that we are winning the trust of the British people. We believe Labour has lost that trust because they promised so much and now people are looking for a new direction, for money to be better spent, for people to be allowed to spend more of their own money and for public services to improve, it's going to be by trusting those people who work in those services."
Off he careered again, the candidate Tim Devlin trailing in his wake - just as Mr Devlin did behind Labour's Dari Taylor in 1997.
Her majority then was 11,585 votes. A stronger showing this time around by the LibDems - their local council leader Suzanne Fletcher is their candidate - might make the seat seriously interesting.
The Conservative organisation in the High Street was commendable because just ahead of Mr Portillo's careering, loyal supporters just happened to be waiting.
"Make sure you spend some of Gordon Brown's money on us," said a woman in a saddlery shop blighted by foot-and-mouth.
"I will when I get my hands on it," replied the shadow chancellor.
"I'm really pleased to see you - we thought no one would come," said another woman.
"We are going to win tomorrow - I've got a fiver on it," shouted another supporter.
But strangers did sneak through. "I'm Labour, but I'll shake your hand," said a man removing a roll-up from his mouth. "But you've got to do something about that Mr Hague."
So Yarm isn't a totally Tory town.
"I haven't made up my mind," said a woman beside a sandwich shop. "It's between Mr Portillo's lot and the LibDems. I wouldn't vote for Tony Blair if my life depended on it."
And another man in a supermarket doorway said: "He's too europhobic and I don't think the economic policies will work. You can't reduce taxation and still spend on public services."
As Mr Portillo's flying visit came to an end and he flew back to Teesside airport, it was clear that Yarm is close. After 1997, some Tories are coming home. Much will depend on how many Labour supporters stay at home - which is where the weather may decide whether we have a landslide.
Read more about the Election here.
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