OUR first-born hits 11 next week and he has a new passion in his life - money. He started getting £2-a-week pocket money when he hit double figures last year, while the others still get £1. He's turning into a right little capitalist, always on the lookout for jobs to earn extra 'dosh'.

"Need your car cleaning, Dad?"

"Yeah, OK."

"Cost ya two quid."

"A pound."

"One fifty?"

"Okay."

Sometimes, he pushes his luck too far. Like when he was told to tidy his bedroom and he asked what it was worth. He was politely informed that it was worth not being told to clean the rabbits out and be grounded for a week. He tidied his bedroom, albeit with a sour look on his face, a stomp up the stairs and an "It's not fair - you're always picking on me."

And when the tooth fairy left his little sister a pound under her pillow recently, he asked: "Isn't it time it went up - it's been a pound for ages?"

For the record, inflation isn't recognised in the tooth fairy's kingdom.

To be fair, he's a great saver. He's just managed to pay for a £30 Pokemon computer game for himself out of his savings. I can think of a thousand things I'd rather he'd spent it on, but it's his money.

The sad thing is that it's reached the point where I've started to find myself borrowing from him. I didn't have enough for a round of golf the other morning and found myself pleading for a fiver. "Sure Dad, no probs - what's the interest?" asked the budding entrepreneur as he flicked through the notes in his wallet.

And on school mornings, we frequently find ourselves dipping into his loose change for dinner money.

Now, Jack - his more innocent younger brother - is a different proposition altogether. Jack's only seven and the value of money has passed him by.

He gets his £1 pocket money every Saturday but he's so absent-minded, he's guaranteed to either lose it or leave it lying round the house. You find it left on the mantelpiece, down the settee cushion, on the floor and occasionally on the side of the bath.

He never misses it, which is wonderful because all I have to do is pick it up and give it back to him the following week. He's blissfully unaware that the same £1 coin has been recycled as his pocket money for more than a year. Now, I know you shouldn't have favourites, but Jack's my kind of kid.

THE THINGS THEY SAY

EIGHT-year-old Josh told his mum he was definitely voting Conservative. "Why's that?" she asked. "Well, I just heard on the telly that they want to keep the pound instead of having a euro, and all the pocket money I've got is pounds, isn't it..."

FATHER'S DAY

"Dad At Large 2 - To Vasectomy And Beyond" was the top-selling paperback at Ottakars in The Cornmill Centre, Darlington, last week. It is also on sale at all Northern Echo offices. It costs £5, with £1 going to the Butterwick Children's Hospice. It's the ideal Father's Day present and Peter Barron will be doing a special Father's Day book-signing in the reception area of The Northern Echo's head office in Priestgate, Darlington, this Saturday between 10.30am and 11.30am.

THANK YOU

A CHEQUE for nearly £3,000 has been sent to the Butterwick Children's Hospice following "An Evening With Dad At Large" at the Hall Garth Golf and Country Club Hotel, near Darlington, last month.

Published: 15/06/2001