I CAN'T understand why Mary Archer has been looking so glum since her husband Jeffrey's imprisonment. She should be relieved for the first time in their married life she now knows where he is and what he's up to every night tucked up safely, and alone, in his own bed at last.

THERE have been a number of highly-publicised and horrific car crashes recently caused by drivers being momentarily distracted, talking on a mobile phone or reaching for a mint in a jacket pocket. But now that school has broken up for summer and I am driving everywhere alone with four lively children, at times squabbling, screaming and demanding attention from the back, I am constantly reminded of just how much of a disruptive, and potentially dangerous, influence they can be. Like most parents, I have to ignore the noise, stay calm and concentrate on the road ahead. When the two-year-old (also known as Houdini) gets himself out of his car seat, I have to resist the urge to look round and just wait for a safe place to stop. Whether it's the nine and eight-year-olds at each others' throats or a missile being hurled into the front, I cannot afford to be distracted. The pressure, at times, is immense. Magistrates may be right to call for new laws penalising people using mobile phones while driving. But, since we can hardly penalise young children for becoming fractious on a long journey, this is one driving hazard we parents unfortunately have to learn to live, and cope, with.

NEWSCASTER Anna Ford has gone to the High Court, claiming holiday pictures of her in a bikini on a crowded beach are a "breach of her human rights". Most television journalists will have interviewed people in all sorts of extreme and harrowing situations, pointing them towards a camera when they must have been, at times, in a fragile, emotional state. So what's the big deal about a few holiday shots on a public beach? I can think of many worse breaches of human rights. Given the amount of attention her court case and striking bikini-clad figure has now attracted, Anna may as well have posed for the cover of a glossy magazine.

CLINT Eastwood's wife, TV presenter Dina Ruiz, is said to be distraught over her husband's close friendship with a jazz musician. Ms Ruiz married Eastwood five years ago and a year later gave birth to a daughter, Morgan, his seventh child, the rest by four different mothers. Eastwood's girlfriend of five years before Ruiz, actress Frances Fisher, found out about his affair with her in a gossip column. With this sort of track record, did Ruiz think there was a cat in hell's chance Eastwood would actually be faithful to her?

WHEN an old-fashioned, macho man marries an independent, headstrong woman, there is bound to be conflict. When that woman is Madonna, one of the biggest celebrities in the world and the ultimate control freak, sparks are sure to fly. Last week, Madonna broke down in tears in a London restaurant after her husband Guy, who refers to his wife as "the missus", angrily stormed off. Now the star says she is giving up performing after her current tour in order to concentrate on her family. But will Madonna play the little woman as convincingly as she has played the star? And will Guy ever be able to come to terms with forever being known as Mr Madonna?

JASON Donovan says he is taking a year or two out of his singing and acting career to dedicate himself to his girlfriend and two children. I'm sure he means well. But his girlfriend, who says she has no plans to marry him, would probably be more impressed if the former pop star and West End stage sensation hadn't been washed up in his late twenties and reduced to singing in pubs. Taking a break right now sounds just a bit too convenient.

Published: Friday, July 27, 2001