COME on Athers, just because Yorkshire have won the title for the first time for 33 years there's no need to go into a big sulk and hang up your boots.

Or is it because, for an intelligent man, there has to be more to life than gearing yourself up every four years for a futile attempt to win the Ashes?

Yes, I can accept that. When you're battling against a bad back and you have suffered the frustration of captaining a poor England team and never getting any closer to beating the Aussies in 12 years, it's time to go.

Michael Atherton has served club and country with great distinction, but to what extent he is a proud Lancastrian I'm not sure. Are there any proud Lancastrians any more?

If Yorkshire have suffered 33 years of hurt, what of Lancashire? They last won the title outright in 1934 and the pride traditionally associated with Roses battles was sadly lacking from the pitiful Red Rose efforts this season.

In fact, things generally are not all that rosy down Manchester way, where the old chant of "yip yap Stam is a big Dutchman" will no longer be heard.

The departure of Jaap Stam from United's rearguard would have seemed unthinkable until his autobiography was published, in which he dared to question the integrity of the faultless Fergie.

Sir Alex denies the book had anything to do with Stam's departure. The decision to offload one of the greatest defenders seen in this country for many a year is purely a footballing matter.

Well, he has to say that otherwise Stam, six months into a five-year contract, would be entitled to a disciplinary procedure under employment law.

Sir Alex would far rather bank a swift £16m transfer fee than risk a messy tribunal, so before you can say "yip yap" Stam is off to Lazio, cancelling the kitchen scheduled for delivery this week in his new house.

If the United defence now springs more leaks some of us will shed no tears. After hearing Fergie's latest rant that they ought to have had 20 minutes injury time against Aston Villa, anything which punctures his pomposity is to be welcomed.

HOW odd that the England team are booked into a hotel next door to the Hofbrauhaus in Munich city centre.

Lose the World Cup qualifier and we will be plunged into national mourning. There will be massive absenteeism on Monday and our gross domestic product will fall even further behind Germany's.

Yet the team are spending three nights next to the biggest bierkeller in Bavaria. Will Sven be sitting up all night to make sure none of the team venture next door, just as Wilf McGuinness used to do to make sure George Best did not lure a hotel receptionist to bed?

McGuinness apparently abandoned his watch at 6am and two minutes later Best ushered the receptionist through his door. But he probably still played a blinder.

There's no scope for players of his flair in today's intensively coached teams, which is why I fully expect tomorrow's match to be a dreadful bore.

But it won't stop the post-match analysis being just as interminable as the pre-match hype, despite the clear evidence of over-kill from last weekend's TV viewing figures.

The BBC didn't need to carry out their threat to rival The Premiership with East Enders. They simply put on the less-than-adorable Anne Robinson and still won hands down. So now who's the weakest link?

THANK goodness for our oarsmen. After the disappointments of winning only two medals at the World Athletics Championships, rowing's equivalent produced two gold medals in two hours for Matthew Pinsent and James Cracknell.

They won by four tenths of a second in the coxed pairs and two hundredths in the coxless event - the sort of margins which speak volumes about their sheer will to win.

Even the heroic Steve Redgrave thought it was an impossible double, as it had never been done before.

Britain won two more golds at Lucerne to prove that rowing continues to thrive in the post-Redgrave era.

WHILE sitting on the steps of the Sophia Gardens press box at Cardiff on Monday, I was approached by two men with buckets collecting for Steve James's benefit.

When I declined to part with my loose change I got the predictable response: "Bloody press, they get in for nothing and won't contribute."

I explained that James, the Glamorgan batsman, is almost certainly wealthier than me and is one of a growing band of sportsmen who already take money off me by muscling in on my profession.

Athers is another, but at least he has the excuse that as a former England captain people are likely to take notice of what he writes.

Published: 31/08/2001