FORGET podgy-faced Bridget Jones who panics at the ticking of her biological clock, drinks cheap plonk and goes to bed with Hugh Grant wearing granny knickers.

She is the big-hipped, 30-something loser who will go to any lengths to get herself a man and is sad enough to feel down about being a successful career woman.

Step in the 40-something singleton. She's anything but the staid or sensible spinster you expect a middle-aged woman to be. Sure, she's alone but she prefers it that way. And, while things may be dropping and drooping for Bridget, this 40-something woman keeps herself looking pert and primed at all times.

After all, she's still on the hunt for Mr Right, or at least, Mr Right-for-now, so she can't let herself go to seed.

This is a description of the trio of female friends in Andie MacDowell's new film, Crush, based around a group of woman who get together for chocolate and woman-talk. They don't drink the tepid Chardonnay that Bridget is partial to. They neck down gin by the bottleful. They look glamorous and have wild sex with younger men.

And, rather than succumb to the neurotic jitterings of Bridget Jones, they're either divorced or they've chosen to stay single because, that way, they can have their cake and eat it too. When they have a fit of insecurity, they know they're being sad and pathetic and are forgiven for it. For ultimately, they are three women in control of their lives. They refuse to grow old gracefully. In fact, they are no nearer growing old than when they turned 30.

Though Andie MacDowell's indomitable character is partly glamorised for the sake of the film, there is a growing army of real-life 40-somethings who can relate to some of the positive aspects of her character.

Successful businesswoman Frances Bourne feels she is in her prime as a divorced 40-year-old singleton, living alone with just a cat called Phil for company.

A business partner of Darlington-based public relations firm, Recognition Marketing, Frances works hard and enjoys the rewards of being single.

She looks back to her 30s as wilderness years which were unsettled and filled with anxiety. "Like Bridget Jones, I used to think I needed Mr Right to come into my life, but this feeling does pass. It's like an illness. You are cured by the time you are 40," says Frances, who lives near Darlington.

She looks after herself more now than she ever did in her 20s and admits, while she does this for her own satisfaction, it is also because she is single.

"I do go to the gym regularly and I take better care of myself than some women in their 40s who are with someone and have let themselves go," adds Frances, who is originally from Walsall.

"The gym keeps me looking younger and I pile the anti-wrinkle cream on, partly because at the back of my mind, there's the thought that as I'm single, there a pressure to look my best all the time."

While she was devastated at reaching her 40th birthday, especially as she had just come out of a five-year relationship, she has since come to terms with it and feels her life began the day she celebrated - or miserably marked - the big four-0.

"I thought 'oh my God, I'm 40,' and spent the whole day feeling miserable. I can remember the day my mother turned 40 and she got all these cards saying 'life begins at 40' but I was a manic depressive on my big day.

"But about four months later, I snapped out of it and ever since then, it's been wonderful. I'm having the opposite of a mid-life crisis. I had that in my early 30s and now I feel more confident and younger than I did in my 20s."

THOUGH she is far more selective about where she socialises now, she is still a party girl and enjoys fun nights out with friends, as well as spending hours on the phone, chatting about life and love.

"In some ways, I think women have extended their youth nowadays. We still like to look good, have our independence and go out with the men of our choosing," she says.

But where she was a far less discerning socialiser in her 30s, the quality of conversation has become more significant to her. And while sex is still important, it is not the be-all and end-all of a relationship.

"I like good quality conversations and men who actually have something to say for themselves and companionship becomes as important as sex in your 40s. I tend to go for men who are more cerebral now, but who can still have a damn good time," she says. "And I don't want to live in a boyfriend's pocket at my age. I don't want to see him five or six times a week and watch TV with him. I've got my own life and hobbies and friends."

Where she may have felt daunted or out of control in situations in her younger days, nothing frightens her now.

"Nothing fazes you in your 40s. You've tried and tested it and you know what does and doesn't work," she claims.

But even so, there are certain mistakes she will always make when it comes to matters of the heart.

"I still occasionally go for the wrong man," she admits. "It's like you never learn when it comes to love. I met a wonderful man on the rebound and unfortunately, he ended up thinking I was a bit of a bunny boiler," she laughs.

"That's one area of life you never learn from and you make the same mistakes, when you're in your 50s and 60s."

Married at the age of 22, she feels she has lived a topsy-turvy existence. She was the dutiful wife at a relatively young age for 14 years and found herself growing apart from her husband, with whom she is still good friends. So she made the break and has never looked back.

"If I had to live my life again, I'd probably marry in my 40s because you have done a lot of what you wanted to do in your 20s and 30s and you've got your career out of your system," says Frances. "You've got a personality by the time you're in your 40s, you've travelled and you know what you like and don't like."

She loves her freedom and the lack of compromise in her life. She can afford to be as spontaneous as she likes and finds acting on impulse keeps her feeling young. Last year, she booked herself a holiday to Sorrento in Italy at the last minute.

But there are times, however short-lived, when she would love to go home to a loving husband.

"I do sometimes crave a shoulder to cry on or to have a man around the house who will do the DIY, but then again, I'm learning to do that myself. Why should you wait for a man to come into your life before you put up that shelf in the bathroom?"

She says, while younger women often harbour the romantic dream of meeting Mr Right and living happily ever after, she has come to terms with the fact that this may not happen.

And this need not necessarily be a negative factor. She enjoys life in every way she can, lives for the moment and is certainly not lonely without a man or children in her life.

Loneliness, she feels, is a state of mind. You can feel it when you're 25, 35 or 45, whether you're married with 2.3 children or living alone with cats for housemates.