WHEN a very irate Frenchman in a silly hat started shouting at us in Marne la Vallee train station, I knew we were in trouble. Not only was he angry with us - he also had our train tickets back to Blighty.

Trying not to stare at his hat, which was now hanging precariously on the side of his head due to his energetic outburst, I attempted to reason with him. I explained that there must have been a mix up in the booking office, and that although our tickets had the wrong date on them, they were indeed valid. He was having none of it.

My girlfriend then tried to reason with him, but this simply escalated into a furious row on the platform. Now desperate, I tried the only other course of action open to us, grabbed the tickets, ran very quickly towards the train and hoped no-one threw us off.

Remarkably, it worked, but this traumatic episode is a fair reflection of how the rest of our three-day trip to Disneyland Paris went.

If it could go wrong, it did. Imagine Frank and Betty Spencer spending three days in a theme park and you've got a pretty good idea. But adversity can sometimes add excitement to a trip. Well, that's what I kept telling my girlfriend, and despite a few mishaps, Disneyland proved to be great fun.

We spent three days at the resort, and one day in Paris, which is only a 30-minute metro journey from Disneyland. The resort itself is easy to get to, just a short bus ride away from Charles de Gaulle airport, on the outskirts of Paris.

But we decided to go by Eurostar, which was quick and very comfortable, apart from the mishap with our Gallic ticket collector on our return trip. We caught a GNER train from Darlington to Kings Cross, and then a Eurostar train from Waterloo to Marne la Vallee, which serves Disneyland. From there, it is a short walk or coach ride to any one of the seven hotels and lodge parks at the resort.

We stayed at Disney's Newport Bay Club, which offered US-style service-with-a-smile with a bit of Gallic panache thrown in for good measure.

Almost all the hotels sit on the shores of Lake Disney, a stone's throw away from Disney Village, where the majority of the resort's bars and restaurants can be found.

If there is a fault with the village, it is that it can get a bit overcrowded, and this is made even worse by the fact that everywhere you turn there is a huge Disney character grinning inanely at you. I'm not proud of it, but I even managed to have a minor altercation with an eight-foot Goofy in one restaurant. If your idea of fun is eating your breakfast while a giant cartoon dog keeps attempting to put its arm round you and kiss you, fine, but it ain't mine.

The show-down with Goofy over, our next stop was the theme park. It took us almost an hour to get our Press passes, but despite yet another mix-up, the staff were very polite.

But once inside the park, I suddenly found myself transformed into a ten-year-old child, giggling all the time and pointing at things. I even had a tantrum when my girlfriend told me I couldn't go on a ride, and the only way she could appease me was by buying me an ice cream.

But forgetting yourself and acting like a child is what Disneyland is all about. Everywhere you turn there are adults having as much fun as the youngsters.

And with five different parts to the park - Adventureland, Frontierland, Fantasyland, Discoveryland and the Main Street - you need the stamina of a child to get through it.

Each "land" has a different theme and they are all vast with plenty of rides, so it can take a good two or three days to cover the entire park.

The highlight is the Disney parade, when all the characters march along the Main Street, signing autographs and stopping to have their picture taken with the cheering crowds.

Still smarting from my skirmish with Goofy earlier in the day, I momentarily thought about confronting him, but the risk of getting beaten up by an eight-foot cartoon character in front of thousands of children proved too great and I decided to cut my losses and leave.

And after a hard day being juvenile, the perfect way to unwind is with a meal and a few cocktails in some of the bars in the village.

Incidentally, food and drink is fairly reasonably priced, considering you're in a theme park with nowhere else to go. One tip is to buy food and drink vouchers in advance of your trip, a popular way of paying whilst saving you the hassle of carrying a wallet full of money about with you.

And if by the end of your stay you haven't spent up and provided you don't have a bus-load of children to accompany back to England, it would be criminal not to jump on a metro and visit Paris - the perfect antidote to the noise and excitement of Disneyland.

TRAVEL FACTS

l For information about a family break to Disneyland Paris, call Disneyland Paris Direct, on (08705) 030303, or visit www.disneylandparis.com

l The price for a family of two adults and two children (3-11 years inclusive) sharing a family room at Disney's Newport Bay Club for a two-night, three-day break in August costs from £426 per adult and £214 per child. The price includes return travel with Air France from Newcastle, theme park passes and continental breakfast.

* Regular flights leave airports across the UK daily for Paris, where a shuttle bus service takes you directly to the park. Air France flights include departures from Newcastle into Paris Charles de Gaulle.

* From April 6 until September 28, Eurostar operates a daily direct service from Waterloo, taking passengers directly to the gates of the theme park. Outside these dates, the direct service operates at weekends and daily during school holidays.