Whatever it is that may qualify an ill wind, the great storm of January 9, 1936, blew an awful lot of destruction, nonetheless. "A hurricane unprecedented in living memory," reported The Northern Echo two days later, alongside a self-congratulatory little story that - despite the loss of telephone and telegraph - the first edition had only been five minutes late.
Wrecked buildings included the Globe picture house in Byers Green, near Spennymoor, the football stands at Hartlepools United and Ferryhill Athletic, the cricket pavilion at Coxhoe and half the pigeon crees in the county.
"Cockfield Fell resembled a war zone," added the paper, graphically. Now it's a listed building. The gales also caused major damage to St Mary's Catholic church at Wycliffe, near Barnard Castle, blew down the belfry and blew in the stained glass windows.
Boarded up when the wind finally subsided, they remained out of sight - if not mind - for 65 years. "I think there were plans, but then the war started and people had other things on their minds," says Mike Hedley, who lives in the former presbytery.
At a service last Friday evening, however, the Bishop of Middlesbrough formally re-opened the church and blessed the renewed windows - and in that enlightening thereby hangs another tale of cloud and silver lining....
Wycliffe's on the south bank of the Tees, Wycliffe Hall the birthplace of John Wycliffe, the 14th Century religious reformer and inspiration behind the Bible's first English translation.
For years the locals attended Mass there - until another great storm in the 1840s sent plaster crashing and prompted the hall owner to suggest they'd better build a church of their own.
St Mary's was consecrated in October 1849. At the beginning of 1999 church officials were contemplating some sort of 150th anniversary celebration when plaster again came crashing and the building was deemed too dangerous to remain open.
"There seemed a certain symmetry to it," says Mike Hedley.
It was re-opened after restoration costing almost £100,000, the money raised by the small congregation - average attendance 35 - after the diocese and English Heritage were unable to help.
"We'd really only thought about tidying it up a bit to mark the anniversary," says Mike. "It was the good Lord telling us that if we were going to do the job, we were going to do it right." They'd wondered if St Mary's might ever re-open - "English Heritage said they were only able to help listed buildings in urban areas, by no stretch of the imagination are we urban" - before deciding to raise the money themselves.
"It's been a tremendous opportunity for people to come together, fun raising as well as fund raising, and Friday was a wonderful evening. There was a great sense of achievement," says Mike, a former RC school head teacher in Middlesbrough who moved to Wycliffe with his wife seven years ago.
Unpaid, they look after the church and supervise the adjoining retreat centre. "It's a community that's going to develop and grow," he says. "There's no point in restoring a building for the sake of it; this is going to be a living church."
Joanna, their daughter, designed the new west window - appropriately called Out of Darkness Into Light - while stained glass artist Simon Fitton from Leyburn restored the others.
There's new lighting, heating for the first time, new altar and furnishings, pews refurbished by parishioners - and there to witness it all was Maurice Green, who remembers the 1936 storm like it was yesterday.
His family lived at Lane Head, up the road from Wycliffe. "I'd just gone to bed when my mother came up and said we'd better get out of the house.
"We went down the stairs and were crossing the dining room when there was this terrible crash. Back upstairs, my bed was piled high with tiles and plaster and you could see daylight through the roof.
"We lost four beasts through it, but God couldn't have wanted me."
Maurice is 84, now lives in Coundon, near Bishop Auckland, still drives around 15,000 miles a year and though he's in church every week regards Mass as something of a moveable feast. "It depends upon where the car takes me," he says. He'd not have missed last Friday night at Wycliffe, though. "It was wonderful to see the church so lovely, and to have light through the windows again.
"God mustn't have wanted me to die that night in 1936. He didn't want our church to die, either."
Still memories arrive from old boys of Bishop Auckland Grammar School. They may not, however, have been the happiest days of their lives.
Chiefly the alumni recall "Neddy" Deans, the 1950s headmaster most kindly described as formidable. Den Ewbank, Shildon lad once, also remembers masters like "Tex" Rutter and "Stench" Newman - nice man, died last year, aged 96 - but may have under-achieved, since he finished in 5X.
"5X," says Den, "was two grades lower than supermarket salmon."
Bruce Dodsworth - once also in Shildon, now lakeside in Windermere - recalls the "black hole", the boiler room steps down which fresh faced first formers were temporarily entombed whilst beaten about the head by their superiors from the second.
In an act of humanitarianism, Neddy banned the practice after Jeffrey Horan from Shildon broke his arm.
Bruce - bruce
Ed Deanes the brave headmaster was
Of Bishop Aucklande Grammyr School,
And every morne hys stick he took
And forth he went, the boys to kule.
A footnote adds that "kule" means "kill". Nearly 60 years later, John still spells "grammer" with an e, but he is beyond Neddy's nemesis now.
Lord Bolton is gone, too, his passing a few weeks ago recalled in a Sunday Telegraph piece on obituaries.
According to his obituary headline, it says, the most interesting thing he ever did was stand in for David Niven when Casino Royale was being filmed on his grouse moors in Wensleydale.
What the obituary didn't mention was the report on his lordship's wedding in The Times. "Lord Bolton has married Mrs Lavinia Fenton is Scotland, during a break in the fishing."
It made the Radio 4 News Quiz, though.
Now that the leadership election's almost out of the way, lifetime councillor Stephen Smailes rings from Stockton about the Conservative party jumble sale. (You read it here first.)
Smailesey, an Ian Duncan Smith man, bought this photograph there last weekend, and has sparked much municipal debate.
It's captioned "Market Hall", probably taken in the 1960s. Stephen thinks it's Bondgate in Darlington - impossible, look at the houses behind - others have suggested Richmond, Malton and Thirsk.
Readers are invited to name the Market Hall in question - and if they want the picture, says Stephen ("we Tories have always been generous") they can have it.
....and finally, the column will be spending part of Saturday on a one-man, 16-mile sponsored walk from Middleton Tyas to Shildon, arriving in time for that afternoon's match.
It should have been the Great North Run the following day but, as has been explained elsewhere, the plunge from the Tyne Bridge is too inviting.
Like the 36 GNR entrants representing the Albany Northern League, I'll be foot slogging for Marie Curie Cancer Care and for the HT Pilgrimage Trust, which helps send the sick to Lourdes.
The route's through Barton, Piercebridge and Royal Oak, the aim to be there by 2pm. Since the column no longer has 16-mile legs, financial support (cheques to the Northern Football League) would hatsen the journey immeasurably.
Published: Thursday, September 13, 2001
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