In the war against terrorism there comes more news from the home front: the IRA is to issue campaign medals to its terrorists. This news was announced on Remembrance Day.

It will be interesting to see what form these awards take. The VC, perhaps - where VC stands for Very Cruel - given for exceptional valour on the part of the leader who placed a bomb in a Birmingham pub in 1974 and killed 17 innocent bystanders.

Or how about the DSO - the Dirty Sods Order - given for valiant participation in the Enniskillen Poppy Day Massacre when 11 people were killed at a Remembrance Day ceremony? The DFC - the Damnedest Filthy Charter - for the murder of Lord Mountbatten. The MM - Maddest Medal - for the rat who planted the Old Bailey bomb in 1973. I have a personal interest in this atrocity since, as a result of subsidence following the bomb, the whole of the south roof of our church (which is opposite the Old Bailey) collapsed. An entirely new medal will have to be struck for the Republican Movement's finest hour back in 1998 when they wiped out all those shoppers in Omagh.

Also on the home front, in the propaganda war, prominent people are being asked to sign a Pledge of Toleration towards Muslims. Ian Duncan Smith and the Archbishop of Canterbury, to name but two, have refused to sign it. Quite right. The pledge is just the latest item in a whole catalogue of racist injunctions. Why a special pledge of toleration towards Muslims? Surely we should show toleration to all people of good will?

Meanwhile on the main war front, Osama bin Laden has admitted he perpetrated the atrocities on New York and Washington. In an interview with a Pakistani journalist, he said: "There are two types of terror - good terror and bad. What we are practising is good terror. We will not stop killing them" - he means us - "and those who support them".

The Appeaser-in-Chief, the editor of the Church Times, has fallen out with the Archbishop of Canterbury. The Archbishop is very sound on the war, calling it "a necessary conflict". The editor does not agree with this patriotic line. He wrote in this week's issue of his wimpish newspaper: "There is a chance next week for the General Synod to declare that an attack on Afghanistan is not the way to pursue a war against terrorism". Oh sure, you can count on it. The Synod is packed with what Lenin used to call "useful idiots" - people who do the enemy's work for him by condemning the actions of our own side.

A joke or two always helps the war effort. Like the story of how, when Churchill was asked to approve a consignment of condoms to the Russians, he said, "Yes, but only if they are labelled 'very small'." Well, George Bush phoned bin Laden and said: "I had a wonderful dream last night, Osama. I dreamt I'd bombed Afghanistan flat and rebuilt it with lots of lovely shopping malls, burger stalls and drive-in cinemas. And there were thousands of flickering neon signs all over the place".

Bin Laden asked: "What did the signs say, George?"

Bush replied: "You know, Osama, I can't tell: they were all in Hebrew".

* Peter Mullen is Rector of St Michael's, Cornhill, in the City of London, and Chaplain to the Stock Exchange.

Published: Tuesday, November 13, 2001