Wellock's World

British sport is littered with Aussie coaches and someone from Down Under has just been appointed chief executive of Sport England.

The wizards of Oz are not unbeatable, as England and Great Britain proved in both codes of rugby last weekend. Yet we have arrived at a situation where the Yorkshire cricket team will be coached and captained by Aussies next season, while Barnsley's finest will be exiled in the south.

"I couldn't care less," said Fred Trueman. "I couldn't give a tinker's cuss," said David Byas. Typically blunt Tyke responses to the fact that the finest fast bowler they have produced since Trueman now finds life with Yorkshire intolerable.

Not that we should be surprised by Darren Gough's impending exile. There's always trouble at t'mill at Headingley, and Trueman, Illingworth and Close all finished their careers with other counties and there were plenty who wished Boycott had done the same.

Last year Martyn Moxon walked out after 20 years to coach Durham, now Byas's damning words seem certain to ensure that attempts to keep Gough are futile.

Considering that he had very little input into winning the title last season, they won't miss him. But his exit is part of the sad dilution of a proud Yorkshiremen-only tradition which prevailed until someone decided it would be a good idea to sign Richard Stemp, a left-arm spinner who wouldn't know Yorkshire grit if it hit him in the eye.

So, the only Darren on Yorkshire's staff next season will be skipper Lehmann, a brash Aussie who eats county bowlers for breakfast. He'd better not get too big for his boots, or the natives will turn against him.

BECKHAM to the rescue again. England's penalty award against Sweden was ludicrous, and as the only regular penalty-taker in the team, Kevin Phillips should have been given the chance to break his international duck.

If Phillips is to have another chance he'll need to knock in a few goals to take the pressure off Peter Reid at Sunderland.

There are no such worries for Golden Balls, who can do no wrong, and if Beckham's spin doctors keep up the good work they will shortly have him standing on a picket line, warming his diamond-encrusted hands by a brazier.

That would lift his public image a few more notches, especially as he would be pre-programmed to say he was doing it for his less well-off brethren in the lower divisions.

Brethren such as Hartlepool's Gordon Watson, who claims the PFA did nothing for him when he suffered a career-threatening broken leg in February, 1997.

After a long fight he eventually won £909,000 in compensation, of which £180,000 went on the legal bill, but it seems strange that the PFA didn't help.

Surely that's what they're there for, rather than shelling out £10,000 for ex-players to go on training courses to become physios.

There is something laudable about 99 per cent of footballers supporting a strike in their union's ballot as they hold out for the £27m they claim they are owed from television money.

But they should consider that the golden goose is about to be cooked. The PFA should learn to fund itself from other sources, such as increased subs, because the signs are that the TV gravy train is about to be derailed.

ALSO in search of mega-bucks is Lennox Lewis, whose greed has persuaded him to climb into bed with the despicable Don King after sacking his long-time mentor Frank Maloney.

If Lewis loses his rematch with Hasim Rahman in Las Vegas on Sunday morning his most sensible option will be to slip quietly into retirement rather than sticking around into undignified old age like George Foreman and Joe Bugner.

Having trained properly this time, however, he might just regain his world titles, opening up the way for King to arrange a meeting with Mike Tyson. We shouldn't wish that on anyone, but no doubt the loot will prove irresistible.

GOLFER Padraig Harrington, racehourse trainer Aiden O'Brien and the Republic's football team have made it a good week for the Irish, and they'll run out of Guinness if the All Blacks are beaten tomorrow.

But what is it about Shelborne FC in Dublin which attracts the lunatic fringe?

It was during a match there three years ago that Gazza attracted publicity for smoking and drinking at half-time, shortly after he had crashed the Middlesbrough team bus at Hurworth.

Now Vinnie Jones has turned out for Carlisle in a friendly at Shelborne, supposedly to see if he could rekindle an undistinguished football career.

More likely it was nothing more than a pathetic publicity stunt involving someone whose only talent is for popularising the bovver boy image.

Published: 16/11/2001