ARE working mothers really that special? Yes. But - and it's a big but - so are working fathers. And if they are granted equal rights too, then where are we going to find a policeman at four in the morning?

A tribunal ruling means that working mothers may have the legal right to refuse to work inconvenient shifts, after a single mother policewoman was refused the chance to work the same days each week to make it easier to arrange childcare.

Come on. You and I know that police have to work shifts. This woman had been a policewoman before. How did she think she'd cope? If we want to work, then we will have to fit in with the job, not expect the job to change to fit in with us. And if parents in general and mothers in particular can pick and choose the times they work, why should the childless be left with the anti-social hours?

And yet... in most organisations there are usually enough people who, for their own very varied reasons, are keen to work odd hours. Young and single, I used to love working strange shifts, having free time when everyone else was at work. Bliss.

There are plenty of others who feel the same. Usually enough of them to keep most organisations ticking over reasonably well, even during school holidays and carol concerts and chicken pox epidemics.

And if there aren't, well, even working mothers would have to sort their childcare out differently. But don't let's be too harsh.

Because families are important. Basically, good families make for a good society - to everyone's benefit.

Forget the well-publicised high-flyers. Most working mothers have already compromised their careers to some extent.

They work part-time, they don't do the travelling, they don't do the overtime or the after-work socialising. It's a constant juggling act and most women are grateful for any flexibility at all and don't demand more.

But there's a good reason why all people - mothers, fathers, the single, childless or nearly retired - should welcome this ruling.

For what it does is to admit that people have a life outside work. And that means ALL of us. There are times when we all need to tend to our lives/get the car serviced/take dog to the vet/ mother to the hospital/ let the builders in/ have lunch with long-lost friend passing through on way from Scotland to Paris. And instead of treating us like Victorian orphans to be chained to our desks all day, a good employer will recognise that fact.

It's called give and take and when it works well (which, OK, it doesn't always), it benefits both workers and employers.

Maybe the Prime Minister realises this. A Downing Street press conference was re-scheduled two hours early at the weekend, apparently, because the press spokesman had promised to take his children to an afternoon screening of Harry Potter.

But if your colleague can cut off early to watch quidditch, then you should be able to nip off for a football match or hairdressers, though not necessarily on the same day.

It's not just family-friendly policies that are needed, it's life-friendly attitudes. And even the single and childless will benefit from those.

PRINCE Charles is to advise the NHS on the architecture of its hospitals. Excuse me?

Prince Charles had many admirable qualities but (1) he is not an architect and (2) has he ever lain for hours on a hospital trolley? Has he had to walk miles along endless corridors, getting lost on the way to the right department? Tried to sleep when racked with pain and sharing a room with five other people all of whom wheeze, cough, spit, moan and groan all through the night? Has he ever lain in bed on a sunny day with nothing but a view of a grey brick wall to look at? And has he ever tried to park, or even stop briefly, near an orthopaedic department so a granny crippled with arthritis doesn't have far to walk?

And if not, how on earth can he help with hospital design?

WHEN does dressing up turn a little girl into Lolita? Tricky one this, especially as we're coming up to peak party season. We all know little girls love playing with make-up, the more sparkly the better. In my days as a beauty editor, I would share the free samples among the neighbours' children and they would skip home, made up to the nines, every nail a different garish colour.

But regular make-up for little girls? It's a growing trend. Latest is from a company called Miss Molly which promises peelable nail varnish, sparkly hair colour, glittery gel. It's all cheerfully childish. But then you see the Fruit Kisser Lip Gloss and there's that niggle of uncertainty again.

The line between childhood and adulthood is getting ever more blurred. Eleven-year-old mothers are hardly news these days. We know little girls read magazines, listen to music, watch television programmes that in earlier generations would have been X-rated. We wring our hands as if we are powerless to prevent it.

Meanwhile, supermarkets and chain stores sell pre-teen bras. Even Marks & Spencers stock T-shirts for seven-year-olds with "Wild Kitten" displayed over tiny pre-pubescent chests.

All of it separately is innocent enough. But the cumulative effect is different. It is subtly but determinedly pushing little girls closer into being sexual beings.

Little girls grow up all too quickly already. Should we really be encouraging them to do it even sooner?

THE Kilshaws - who fled across America with twin babies they'd bought over the internet - are in Europe. They are looking for a baby to adopt, ideally a sister for their two young sons. They are said to be considering getting a baby from Afghanistan.

The Government is trying to tighten the laws on adopting babies from foreign countries. Let's hope they get there before the Kilshaws do.

KATE Winslet, newly-separated from her husband, is involved with film director Sam Mendes, who seems to have worked his way through a long list of other glitzy actresses. Bit of a love rat, goes his reputation.

But no. With all his friends to choose from, who did Sam take to the Oscars? His mum.

Relax Kate - any man who takes his mum to the Oscars must be OK.

Published: Wednesday, November 21, 2001