OK, let's face it. If you haven't got it all done by now you're in a bit of a panic. And as for making a cake, forget it. But relax - Christmas dinner is actually one of the easiest meals of the year to cook, especially if you ignore all the frills and fancy tips as suggested by TV cooks with nothing better to do.

Come to that, you can buy the whole lot ready-made, right down to the gravy.

All in all in the UK this Christmas, we'll be devouring more than 10 million turkeys, 25 million Christmas puddings and 300 tonnes of cheese - washed down with 35 million bottles of wine.

Don't know how many indigestion tablets we'll take.

And it needn't cost a fortune. At Iceland they say they can feed four hungry people for under £25, including prawn cocktail starter, turkey, Christmas pud and mince pies.

TREATS AND STARTERS

Start at breakfast with Sainsbury's Mulled Wine and Four Fruit Conserve £1.49, or smoked salmon and scrambled eggs. Morrison's smoked salmon starts at 99p for 50g. Sainsbury's have individual smoked salmon and poached salmon terrines £2.49 or scallop and smoked salmon brochettes £6.99. Or why not try Safeway smoked salmon pate at £1.99?

TURKEYS AND OTHER MEATY TREATS

IF you haven't ordered one yet, your local butchers and farm shops are still worth trying - try phoning to reserve your choice. Most we spoke to will have some available - unless you leave it until 5pm on Christmas Eve. Geese, ducks and anything fancy will be trickier to get, but butchers should have plenty of pork, ham and beef joints

Otherwise, it's the mad scramble at the supermarket. The benefit here is that they might have a more varied selection of turkey joints. Safeway has a luxury turkey joint with no bones, serves 8 for £19.99. Try their garnish pack £3.49 and posh pork, cranberry and port stuffing for £2.99, carrot, cauliflower and broccoli florets at £1.89, and ready-to-roast potatoes £1.89.

Sainsbury's have whole duck with a mulled wine, cranberry and orange stuffing, or dry-cured ham joints topped with apricots, prunes and cranberries for £16.99. If you can't face a whole turkey, most supermarkets are offering stuffed turkey breast joints. Tesco does one for £6.99.

PUDDINGS

HARD to believe that the Quakers once thought that Christmas pud was "the invention of the scarlet whore of Babylon". According to pudding makers Matthew Walker, it all started as a 14th century porridge, then drifted into plum pudding, then was banned by the Puritans who thought it was "a lewd custom".

Lewd or not, it has continued to adapt and change with the times. This year Matthew Walker has introduced three new flavours - Mulled Wine, Maple and Pecan, and Sticky Toffee. £2.49 for one big enough for 2/3 people.

To go with the puds, Sainsbury's have a brandy cream selection - extra thick double cream, chocolate cream and vanilla cream, all with Courvoisier cognac at £2.99 for a triple pack.

If you don't like pud, Morrisons have some pud-shaped chocolate truffles at £1.49 for four. Or how about some Christmas pudding ice cream - £2.49 from Tesco.

ALTERNATIVE CHRISTMAS CAKES

IF your lot doesn't like traditional fruit cake (neither does mine), then why not try something a bit different. Which?, the consumers' association magazine assembled a team of five top pastry chefs who nibbled, chewed and smelled their way through some of the best Christmas cake alternatives.

They tried Panettone, St llen and Yule logs - 1,235 slices from 27 different cakes.

The good news was that the most expensive wasn't always the best. Favourite Yule Logs came from Asda at £2.48 and Morrisons at £2.49. The best Stollen was the Bahlesen Edel Marzipan Stollen (but if your family doesn't like fruit cake, the chances are they won't like that either) .

The three best Panettone were the BaloccioIl Mandorlato £4.25; the Melegatti £2.75 and the Tesco Finest at £5.99.

TREES, FLOWERS AND TRIMMINGS

TOO late for supermarkets, but independent florists might be able to organise delivery of flowers for you in time for Christmas. Plenty of trees still around - but go to the growers rather than buy a tired one off a street corner. Hard to beat Wilkinson for choice and price. They'll even do you a tree already decorated - a 3ft high tree complete with lights and decorations £9.99, 6ft tall £29.99 They also have light sets from £1.99. Also plenty of last-minute gifts under a tenner, many under a fiver. Poundstretcher might have some of their sparkling fibre optic trees left at £9.99. Or avoid the tree altogether and just have the lights - Focus Do It All takes minimalism to extremes, look ma, no tree, just lights - £29

MORE GIFTS

FANCY a Minton coffee cup and saucer at £2,000? No? Ah well, then , if you're in a hurry you can snap up some nice presents at the supermarkets while you're doing your last-minute shop. Harry Potter hat and gloves are £3.99 each at Morrisons. Real ale and cheese fans will like the set of beer, tankard and mature cheddar, £7.99.

Toys for the boys in Safeway include a great little combat boot key-ring £1.99 or even a camouflage toothbrush - which at £2.49 might just encourage good habits. Bigger boys might prefer a sports timer £5.99 or guides to the world's wackiest web sites £4.99

Plenty of unusual and attractive photo frames in Tesco, from around £3.99, some nice mini drinks sets, from £8.99, chrome noughts and crosses £5. Plus lots of candles, aromatherapy and a good range of toys

* Most of these suggestions should be available, but at this late stage, I'm afraid no one can guarantee it. So stop reading this and get down the shops...

Published: 21/12/01