A couple whose son was bullied at school set up a support group to help other families, tonight they tell their story on television. Steve Pratt reports.

The shock when Paul and Jan McFarlane discovered that their teenage son had been systematically bullied at school for years was compounded by the guilt they felt at having been ignorant of his predicament.

"In reality, he just kept it from us so well but that didn't stop us subconsciously feeling we had failed him," says Paul. "Eventually we accepted the fact that we couldn't do any better that we had at the time."

They went on to set up support group Families Against Bullying (FAB) to help other victims and their relatives.

Now the couple, who run the group from their home in Hartlepool, have spoken about their feelings on discovering their son's bullying for the Tyne Tees Television series Guilt.

"We hope seeing us on the programme will help others," says Mr McFarlane. "It will provide food for though and hopefully provoke some kind of positive reaction. I'm sure there are parents out there suffering with guilt and doing nothing about it."

Reliving the three years the family battled against school bullies was painful, but the couple hope to raise awareness of the problem and aid their campaign to get local schools openly to discuss the issue with them.

"That's a sore point," he says. "None of our schools will invite us in. We have been to schools out of town when we were doing work on bullying with a local theatre group. It's very much an issue we'd like to address. We're not trying to antagonise anyone. We just believe we are doing something of value."

They're being backed in their efforts by Hartlepool man Ben Swift whose 15-year-old daughter Elaine died after taking more than 100 painkillers last year, apparently driven to a fatal overdose by bullies at school.

The family moved her from Brierton School, in Hartlepool, to nearby Dyke House Comprehensive last summer, but her persecution continued. The headteachers of both schools said they were satisfied steps were taken to deal with the bullying claims.

Bullies are also the subject of a storyline in the Channel 4 soap Brookside, in which youngster Anthony Murray has been consistently bullied by two female pupils. His parents took him out of school at one point because they felt the school authorities were unable to protect him.

"From the episodes I've seen, they've done a good job and are trying to make it realistic," said Mr McFarlane.

When his son became moody, hiding in his bedroom at night, they put it down to typical teenage behaviour. They told him to pull himself together and be cheerful.

It wasn't until they received a call from the school, saying an ambulance had been called because their son had been beaten up, that they discovered the whole truth.

"I can only describe the guilt as being like a lump that never goes away," he says in the programme.

Stamping out the bullying proved difficult even after they found about about it. "On the first occasion, a group decided to use our son to practise American wrestling moves on," explains Mr McFarlane.

"We were aware that he was getting bullied but it had not got to the point where he was getting injured, certainly not physically, although certainly mentally.

"The bullying went on for three years. It got to the point where the physical bullying stopped but he was still subjected to name-calling. We never managed to stop it altogether."

The reasons for the bullying were a mix of things. His son became "the focus for a lot of taunting" simply by being seen carrying a heavy briefcase for his mother. On another occasion, it was "open season" on him after a press cutting, announcing he'd been named St John Ambulance cadet of the year within six months of joining, was pinned up on the school noticeboard.

"We weren't aware of any others being bullied at the time but, since FAB started up, we've had a number of families with children in the same school come to see us. So the school didn't learn anything from their contact with us," says Mr McFarlane.

The couple no longer refer to their son by name in their work, at his request. "He's over it to some extent. He doesn't like to talk about it," says his father.

"It's left him preoccupied about how people see him. He's not as well-mannered as he used to be or as considerate. He's hardened up a lot. It was a very vulnerable part of his life."

Once matters had settled down to a point where the family could return to some sense of normality, the couple decided they wanted to try to prevent other families going through the same trauma as they had with their son. Advice from London group Kidscape led to them setting up FAB, with help from Hartlepool Voluntary Development Agency.

"We are both disabled and have to limit ourselves but we don't turn anyone away and say, 'sorry, we're closed'," says Mr McFarlane, 41, who suffers from the muscle disorder fibro-myalgia. "We have links with other children's help organisations and they pass clients on to us.

"We have a telephone helpline for victims of bullying who want someone to talk to. We do get involved with face-to-face contact but that's limited to the immediate locality. It wouldn't be practical to travel around the country."

The group has a range of literature, videos and CDs which it distributes to help victims and their families. In the period covered by the last annual report, they were contacted by 7,000 victims and families.

They also provide resources for people carrying out academic investigations into the subject. FAB has been asked to help those planning to set up similar groups in Peterlee and Darlington.

"There are not many other groups like us that I'm aware of," he says. "There are not many places for people to go locally. A lot contact London organisations who offer help and support over the telephone. We can help from the local point of view by meeting with people, which, I think, provides a lot more support."

* Fab can be contacted on 01429 271344 or 07765 652659.

* Guilt is on Tyne Tees Television tonight at 10.50pm.