Charmed (C5)
Wild North (Tyne Tees)
'WHY can't I be a normal person in love with a normal guy?" asked Piper as US supernatural series Charmed returned for a third series.
As a newcomer, I admit to finding it all a bit baffling. Piper is one of a trio of witches whose sisterly feelings extend to casting spells and fighting demons, Buffy-style.
Leo, a strange young man who keeps disappearing in a puff of bright light and stars, proposed to Piper in unusual circumstances - in a toilet. No wonder she turned him down.
Her sisters were glad to see Piper back as, without her, they were "one sister short of the power of three". They needed everyone and everything they could lay their hands on to fight off ghostly baddies called Guardians.
What was it all about? "A evil triad is behind all these attacks," said one sister.
"I don't need a recap," said another, although I, for one, was grateful for the explanation.
Leo, his proposal rejected, babbled on about upper-level demons and spooks helping mortal criminals spread evil. "I need another Guardian," said one baddy as if he was ordering a daily newspaper.
This all seemed a bit violent at times with people being stabbed and burnt to death, with only the odd comic line - "this is turning into nothing but a witchhunt" - for light relief.
The charm factor was high too when regional wildlife series Wild North returned. The creatures featured, including water voles and seahorses, were of the type that animal admirers greet with loving sighs of "aah" and "ooh" rather than horrible cries of "ugh" and "get that filthy animal away from me".
Wild North may not have David Attenborough or exotic foreign locations but this often stunningly-photographed opener showed that the North-East has lots of cute animals.
"They're really little charmers," suggested Robert Smith, of Hartlepool Countryside Services, of the water voles living in the shadow of Hartlepool power station. These creatures have been persecuted because they're often mistaken for rats. Now they're an endangered species.
Another grown man - step forward Stockton Borough Council countryside warden Ian Bond - went all gooey over the harvest mice he's helping save from extinction. "They're very cute," he said.
At Tynemouth Aquarium, marine scientist Jo Appleby and presenter Kim Inglis had a giggle over the fact that it's the male seahorse that goes through pregnancy and gives birth. Their feeding habits are different too - they suck things into their mouths (some women I know feed like that too).
But Jo revealed that the seahorse population is decreasing as large numbers are taken from the sea, dried out and sold as souvenirs. As they then looked like burnt shrimps, the idea of anyone forking out money to buy one seemed remote.
Far more credible was the thought of seahorses being ground down and used in aphrodisiacs. The trio of witches from Charmed have probably got the recipe.
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