Bad Girls (ITV)

Diana And The Camera (C5)

THINGS aren't going well for women's prison warder Jim Fenner (or, as the press blurb describes him, "corrupt, ambitious principal officer with a roving eye") as the sublimely ridiculous Bad Girls returned for more females-behind-bars mayhem.

Incriminating evidence has been found in his locker, namely a woman's lacy red thong and a magazine called Chick2Chick. Jim does not strike me as a thong-wearer, although that could explain the pained expression on his face. And the publication is not one with which I'm familiar but, judging by the barely-covered young ladies on the cover, has little to do with poultry matters.

The items have been sent, appropriately in a plain brown envelope, to his fiancee, Karen Betts ("highly professional Wing Governor"). She's also been told he's been collecting money from an inmate's brothels. "I want to see your bank statements," she demanded like some S and M dominatrix.

Poor Karen has a lot on her plate. An inmate has been murdered in the bath and another has been impregnated by a warder - a male one, although, quite frankly, anything's possible inside HMP Larkhall.

You do wonder about Karen's judgement when she puts consistent escapee Shaz ("mischievous teenage triple murderer") on outdoor gardening duty. "You might as well give her a trampoline and bus pass," scoffed Sylvia Hollamby ("jobsworth senior officer known as Bodybag").

Bad Girls is as mad, bad and dangerous to watch as ever, trash TV of the highest order. Things can only get better with next week's arrival of Neil Grayline ("ultra-efficient new Governor set to ruffle a few feathers").

His job title is Governing Governor, as opposed to the Acting Governor or even the Bad Acting Governor, I suppose.

As yet, there are no royals behind bars in the series but it can only be a matter of time. Those who can't get enough of royalty won't have learnt anything new in Diana And The Camera, although this did offer a different angle on a familiar subject.

The main contributor was Jayne Fincher, the only female photographer on the circuit that conspired with Princess Diana to make her "the photographic icon of her age". She photographed her for 17 years, from before her relationship with Prince Charles became public knowledge through engagement, marriage, separation and finally her funeral.

It was rather a bizarre job, she admitted - "a bit of an obsession, a bit of a groupie". Snapping Diana was the bread and butter of Fincher's family business, which supplies pictures to magazines. It was a two-way thing as the Princess herself was adept at using photographers to manipulate her public image. She would talk to them informally and Jayne, as the only woman, was an obvious confidante.

"As much as we spent our life for 17 years looking at her, she was looking at us. We were great entertainment," says Fincher. "Watching us all tripping over and pushing each other for a piece of land for our ladders. If you stood back and looked, it was a very funny scene."

The final irony was that a princess who was so much a product of the photographic image, should die in a fatal road accident being pursued by paparazzi.