Teachers (C4)

Rockface (BBC1)

TEACHERS might just as well, and perhaps more accurately, be called Teachers Behaving Badly. For Summerdown Comprehensive is the school where the teachers conduct themselves more disgracefully than the pupils. They're the ones who creep off for an illicit smoke behind the cycle sheds or in the toilets, and make smutty sexist remarks about their colleagues. When someone moans: "I don't want to go to school tomorrow", it's not a reluctant learner but one of their tutors.

No mention is made of the school's academic standing, which must be on a par with St Trinian's, but then that's not the point of this expletive-packed series. If they were teaching O-levels in sex and swearing, they'd all get an A plus.

The only surprise in the opener is that Andrew Lincoln, the leader of the teaching gang, doesn't bare his bottom as he seemed to in every episode of the first series. This time colleague Susan was doing the lusting - after hunky new teacher JP (the one walking around with a note saying "Shag me" on his back).

At least Teachers has plenty of life in it, which is more than can be said of the BBC's mountain rescue team series Rockface. This is tired old formula drama, a sort of Monarch Of The Glen (spectacular Scottish scenery) meets any medical drama you care to name. Originality is not a strong point, from the clichd characters to the human stories of those trapped up a mountain. People say things like: "It's a lovely day out there, so do me a favour, don't spoil it and come back safely" - and immediately you know something will go wrong.

Clive Russell is the dependable leader, who spends all his time on the walkie talkie, which seems a terrible waste of a good actor.

Expect sparks from the rich man's daughter who'll jump the queue and get a place on the team as daddy has promised them loads of dosh. It would take more money than he's got to watch the second episode.