IN this week's tale of two W Smiths, Wayne's world has been far rosier than Walter's, and the latter's demise must surely spell the end for Gazza.
Wayne is the former All Blacks coach credited with masterminding Northampton Saints' destruction of Newcastle Falcons in the Powergen Cup semi-final; Walter is the former Rangers supremo credited with orchestrating Everton's FA Cup capitulation at Middlesbrough.
There was a foolish sentimentality about Walter's reunion with Paul Gascoigne after Gazza's wasted years with Boro, and Smith's signing of David Ginola on loan was equally misguided.
Signing two players whose fame has clearly outlasted their once outstanding skills is not the recipe for rescuing a struggling side.
It would have been a cruel irony after Gazza's lack of achievement at Boro had he turned it on at the Riverside last Sunday. But he didn't and, far from appearing in the World Cup next year, he must now accept that the end of his top-flight career is nigh.
Other less talented individuals such as Rob Lee have contributed much more as thirty-somethings because they have taken far better care of themselves than a man who has been unable to overcome his sad capacity for self-destruction.
Gazza said if Walter Smith went he would go too. Brave words didn't save his old friend, but whether he quits or is left in the cold by the next manager the cult of the personality will keep him in work.
There has been talk of him commentating at the World Cup, which would be an insult to the art of those who have worked hard at turning sports commentary into a skilled profession.
Gazza would be far better employed seeing out his playing days at a lower division club and, if he can be trusted not to lead them astray, helping to develop young players who will warm to his infectious personality.
ARSENE Wenger looks like a candidate for a heart attack. He was happy enough when Arsenal scored with their only chance at Newcastle last Saturday, but a cardiac arrest never looked far away during the second half.
Why should he worry when despite injuries he can still leave Bergkamp, Pires and Seaman on the bench?
It is said of Wenger that he likes to spread confusion, and no-one was quite sure last Saturday whether he was simply rotating his squad or cocking a snook at the FA Cup.
But if body language is to be believed his cat-on-hot-bricks posture suggested he had learned nothing from Bobby Robson's observation that people should learn how to lose following the antics at Highbury when Newcastle won there this season.
Wenger's men would surely have lost again had Craig Bellamy been fit to capitalise on some of the chances which fell to the dreadfully rusty Carl Cort.
WHILE Sedgefield-born Peter Willey has turned down the invitation to be a member of the elite panel of full-time Test umpires, a surprise name among the five full-time Test match referees is that of Wasim Raja.
The Pakistani was among the first Test-standard players to become club professionals in the North-East when he joined Chester-le-Street in the mid-70s.
He also played Minor Counties cricket for Durham and his flamboyant strokeplay reflected the personality of a man who would not have been an obvious choice to become a Test referee.
Another crowd-pleasing star playing for Durham at the time was Lance Cairns, whose young son could often be seen knocking up on the boundary at Bishop Auckland before play began.
Chris Cairns now competes with South Africa's Jacques Kallis for the title of the world's greatest all-rounder and stands on the threshold of becoming only the sixth player in Test history to score 3,000 runs and take 200 wickets.
His three scalps in England's first innings in the current Test took him to 197, while his duck left him needing 170 runs.
MARTIN Pipe wasn't wrong when he said that the dawn raid by the dope testers two weeks ago wouldn't help his Cheltenham preparations.
When Shooting Light was pulled up halfway through the Gold Cup it was the latest blow in a sad week for the trainer and his jockey Tony McCoy, who began the Festival with high hopes of riding the eight winners he needed to break Sir Gordon Richards' record of 269.
The real tragedy was the death of Valiramix, who would almost certainly have won the Champion Hurdle had he not inexplicably stumbled. The stable struggled to recover from that, leaving McCoy with only one winner.
Still, one man's misfortune brings another's joy and it was a pleasure to witness the beaming ruddy features of Terry Biddlecombe after Best Mate won the Gold Cup. It is one of the wonders of the racing world that the hard-drinking, hard-swearing ex-jockey is happily married to the plummy Henrietta Knight, Best Mate's trainer. No doubt he downed a few last night
Published: Friday, March 15, 2002
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