A happy birthday, firstly, to Edward Boynton, 50 today and second on Monday on his debut - his debut, mind - as a Flat jockey.
"I've done a few things with an adrenalin buzz but absolutely nothing like that," he reports.
"It was much rougher than I thought, the kick-back was unbelievable, but it was just so exciting. You can use the gallops all you want, but nothing prepares you for 14 other horses all wanting to win."
Edward, co-owner with his brother of the appropriately named Nags Head at Pickhill, near Thirsk, last rode in a point-to-point eight years ago.
Now, flat out at 50, he can't wait to get back in the saddle.
In the 2.40 on the all-weather at Southwell, sponsored by the pub, he rode 13-2 shot Mallia - who as a three-year-old had won the William Hill Sprint.
"Old Mallia," the jockey invariably calls him. Mallia is eight; what he calls the jockey is, sadly, unrecorded.
The horse is owned by Edward and trained by David Barron at nearby Maunby.
"That's probably the fastest he'll go all afternoon," observed trainer to owner's wife as they cantered to the start. The old pair proved them wrong.
"He's a real old character, the old lad," says Edward. "He can have no-go days when not even the champion jockey could ride him and others when he can still fly a bit.
"Technically we won the race because the winner was so far in front. The champion jockey couldn't have caught him, either. It was still a pretty good birthday present."
Now, inevitably, the frame has given him a taste for the big picture. "I can't wait to have another go, despite what my wife and others are saying.
"I fully accept that there's a time when you have to stop doing this sort of thing, but so far as I'm concerned, I've only just started."
The 110-year-old Auckland and District League, where all that glisters is usually hall-marked silver, faces an increasingly desperate battle for survival.
Two of this season's eight clubs, Brandon and Coxhoe Athletic, have now resigned. Bob Strophair, league chairman for 32 years, admits it's impossible to continue with six.
"Unless new clubs come forward, we're going to be kicked into touch. Teams get sick of playing one another and believe that the grass is greener on the other side of the hill.
"If we have to suspend it, it'll be almost impossible to get going again."
Among the country's oldest competitions, the league was formed with seven clubs in 1892. Just 20 years ago, it had two divisions with 14 clubs in each.
"You might lose five or six, but in those days there'd always be another five or six coming in," says Bob, an Auckland and District man since playing for Middleton-in-Teesdale Wanderers in 1951.
The growth of Sunday morning football, he believes, is chiefly responsible for the decline. "Lads just seem to have other things to do on Saturdays."
The championship trophy, donated around 1900 by Bishop Auckland optician A G Boothroyd, is among the most valuable in football and is kept - with others little less precious - in a bank vault.
Clubs interested in Saturday afternoon soccer are urged to contact Bob on 01388 773217 or league secretary Bob Farms on 01388 818192.
The Baldasera family are the stuff of legend, and of ice cream, in East Durham. Months ago we mentioned that former Darlington manager Eddie Carr had taken Denis Compton to Baldesera's in Wheatley Hill when both were at Arsenal.
Trish Young, formerly Baldesera, belatedly confirms both the story and the bairns queuing half way to Thornley for the Brylcreem boy's autograph.
"They were all characters, especially Arrissimo - or Arrissy as they called him in Wheatley Hill."
Salvatore - "wore an earring, always carried a knife, looked a right Italian rouge" - was head of the family which arrived en route for America at the turn of the century.
Having experienced the North-East, they stopped.
Another Baldasara - same family, different spelling - was Joe, from Sunderland, an "infamous" boxer (says Trish) in the 30s and 40s.
Principally, however, the Baldaseras were known for their ice cream, sold with the slogan "Baldaseras' is best."
"They were right," says Trish, "it sure was."
Noughts for their comfort at Esh Winning. The west Durham side, never promoted since joining the inaugural Northern League second division 20 years ago, have gone 11 games since conceding a goal.
Goalkeeper Lennie French, signed in mid-season when he couldn't get a game at Chester-le-Street, has now enjoyed over 1,000 minutes of football since Prudhoe's successful strike on February 16.
In only his second Esh Winning match, however, he let in seven against Shildon; in the next game, Easington hit five. Thereafter the sheets have been Oxydol clean.
"If we'd had Lennie since the start of the season, we'd have won the league at a canter," says club secretary Roli Bell.
"If he was three or four inches taller, he'd be playing at a much higher level than this."
Two games remaining, the Waterhouses-based club are at championship rivals Penrith tomorrow and at home to Shildon - also in the frame - on April 27.
"Promotion's so close after all these years that everyone's a bag of nerves," says Roli. The French connection may be needed once again.
Durham County Cricket Club is now sending out details of the "hospitality village" at England's NatWest one-day international with India on July 4 - "soak up the atmosphere" says the invitation to the region's big businessmen. The atmosphere will be about £2.50 a pint.
Half Tow Law attended Harry Dixon's funeral on Monday, standing room only at St Philip and St James.
As last Friday's column noted, Harry had been Tow Law FC's treasurer for almost 40 years longer than the six months he agreed to take the job - a quiet, perhaps private, but immensely generous man.
Never married, it's estimated that he put up to £10,000 a year into the club.
Among mourners were George Brown, George Cairns, Harry Hunt and Mike Ingoe from the fabled 1967 FA Cup team which beat Mansfield Town 5-1 before losing before a huge crowd at Shrewsbury.
That afternoon, it's reckoned, the boots contained £20 notes - "and why do you think," said Harry Hunt, "that George Brown always came with four pairs?"
No greater love, Richard Jones - Darlington season ticket holder and captain of the brainless Britannia B - left Feethams at 8pm on Monday in order to play in the 5s and 3s match against the Glittering Star. That the Quakers were 3-0 down had nothing to do with it, Richard insisted. He lost the dominoes, an' all.
THE team with which Arsenal now share the record for the most FA Cup final appearances (Backtrack, April 16) is Manchester United.
Today back to the late Eddie Carr, a lovely chap remembered by Edward Carr Way in another town where he managed a Football League Club.
They're no longer in the League....identity on Tuesday.
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