Television takes its turn to roll out the red carpet next week as it presents its awards at a star-spangled ceremony. But, do awards matter, and who cares ayway?
The good, the bad and the soap stars from the TV world will be out in force on Monday night at the British Academy Television Awards in London. The most interesting question about the whole star-spangled affair is not who'll go home with one of those mask-like awards, but does anybody care and does it really matter?
A few years ago, the British Academy of Film and Television Arts (Bafta) split the film and television awards into separate events. This was much needed as there was simply too much to get through in one evening without guests either drinking too much or falling asleep. Neither did the reputation of the Bafta ceremony any good. Besides, film and TV folk are like oil and water - they don't mix.
Now Bafta has gone one step further, repositioning the British Academy Film Awards before the Oscars. This has raised the profile of the London-based event, which is now seen as an indicator of what will happen with the American Academy Awards.
That leaves the British Academy Television Awards looking like the poor relation, as well as having to compete with umpteen soap award ceremonies and the heavily-promoted National Television Awards,
The red carpet may not go soggy as it did at the Bafta film event the other week, but the star wattage will be considerably less at the TV show. And, while Oscars mean additional box office takings, a TV award win won't get more people watching.
Sitting through even an edited version of the awards - Monday's ITV coverage lasts two hours - can seem like an eternity and prove as entertaining as a new ITV sit-com.
Certainly the presence of Sheila Hancock as a guest at the ceremony will arouse much interest, simply because this will be her first public appearance since the death of her actor husband John Thaw in February.
She's nominated as best actress for ITV's The Russian Bride.
Thaw also features in the nominations. One of his last starring vehicles, ITV's drama Buried Treasure, is shortlisted for the Lew Grade Audience Award, the only category for which viewers themselves vote. Other nominees are A Touch Of Frost, EastEnders, The Blue Planet and My Family.
A rare dash of controversy is sparked by the naming of C4's Brass Eye Special among comedy programme/series nominees. When first screened, the show attracted hundreds of complaints from viewers and earned C4 a ticking off from the TV regulatory body.
Given the weakness of the opposition - Bremner, Bird And Fortune, The Kumars At No 42 and The Sketch Show - winning can't be ruled out.
Last year's winner, Emmerdale, hasn't been nominated for top soap. Obvious choices EastEnders and Coronation Street are listed with daytime drama Doctors and teen soap Hollyoaks. The Street has been going through a rough patch, so expect EastEnders to romp home on the back of the Slater family stories.
Michael Gambon has won best actor for the past two years. If he scores a hat-trick and collects for Perfect Strangers, perhaps they'll let him keep it. He needs to beat Alan Bates for Love In A Cold Climate, David Suchet for The Way We Live Now and Timothy Spall for Vacuuming Completely Nude In Paradise. That last certainly deserves an award for most intriguing title.
In the actress category, Sheila Hancock is pitted against Lindsay Duncan for Perfect Strangers, Lesley Sharp for Bob And Rose, and Julie Walters for My Beautiful Son.
Perfect Strangers not only hopes to snag acting honours but also the drama serial title. Bob And Rose, Russian Bride, and The Way We Live Now are the others.
Last year's winner, Clocking Off, is nominated again as drama series - this time against At Home With The Braithwaites, Cold Feet and Tales From Pleasure Beach.
Best single drama is a choice between My Beautiful Son, The Navigators, Othello and When I Was 12.
The Pop Idol phenomenon is recognised with two nominations. In the entertainment programmes/series category, opposition comes from Have I Got News For You, Parkinson and Room 101. No doubt which one fans of Will Young and Gareth Gates would vote for.
As the presenters, Ant and Dec did much to get contestants through the rigours of performing and facing the judges. Their contribution to Pop Idol tended to be overshadowed by the antics of the would-be idols, but was invaluable in holding the show together. The Geordie double act's nominated in the entertainment performance category.
The two Johns, Bird and Fortune (for Bremner, Bird And Fortune), and Have I Got News For You panellist Paul Merton are also nominated, but the one to beat is last year's winner, Graham Norton for So Graham Norton.
BBC2's The Office has been one of the few popular new comedies to arrive on our screens in the past year, so a nomination isn't surprising. Happiness, Spaced and Gimme Gimme Gimme also compete in the situation comedy category.
The Office star Ricky Gervais is up for comedy performance. So are Kathy Burke for Gimme Gimme Gimme, Robert Lindsay for My Family, and Joanna Lumley for Absolutely Fabulous.
Factual has the David Attenborough-presented Blue Planet taking on Horizon, Langan Behind The Lines and Welcome To Britain.
So who's the best presenter: Newsnight's acerbic Jeremy Paxman, chatty Michael Parkinson or nosey Louis Theroux? Perhaps they'll pick history man Simon Schama for A History Of Britain.
Theroux also features in the Flaherty documentary category, where nominees are When Louis Met The Hamiltons, Battle Centres (True Stories), Ellen MacArthur: Sailing Through Heaven And Hell, and Kelly And Her Sisters.
The Huw Wheldon Award is given for specialist factual. The choice is between The 1940s House, Arena's The Private Dirk Bogarde, David Starkey's The Six Wives Of Henry VIII, and Walk On By: The Story Of Popular Song.
The After They Were Famous special about The Sound Of Music Children, made by Tyne Tees Television, competes in the features category alongside Faking It, The Farmer Wants A Wife and What Not To Wear.
News and current affairs have been split into two categories. Events of September 11 dominate news nominations with ITV and Channel 4's Attack On America, and Sky's September 11-12 in the running. The BBC's Fall Of Kabul coverage is nominated too.
The current affairs choice is between Beneath The Veil, Endgame In Ireland, Jeffery Archer: A Life Of Lies, and One Day Of Terror - New York Witnesses.
Going for gold in the sport category are British Grand Prix, Silverstone 2001, Channel 4 Cricket, ITV's FA Cup Final programme, and the BBC's Germany v England coverage.
Even that's not the end. The Academy has four Baftas to give away to whoever it wants - the Dennis Potter Award, Alan Clarke Award, a Fellowship of the Academy and a Special Award. They'll be presented on the night.
* The British Television Academy Awards: Monday, ITV, 8.30pm.
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