IN my light-hearted crystal ball gazing at the turn of the year I predicted that Ulrika Jonsson would announce her engagement to Mike Tyson while sporting a black eye.

This may still happen, although it seems that her taste in men has changed. She has always walked on the wild side with the likes of Stan Collymore and Hunter from Gladiators (she called it a meeting of bodies), and somehow Sven doesn't seem to fit the mould.

As Ulrika apparently has a 32D chest it could all be a storm in a D cup, but don't be surprised if her book is published just before the World Cup revealing details which will be a serious distraction to Sven's attempts to lift the nation.

This is the only reason why all this titillation should concern us, especially as Sven also has broken metatarsals to worry about.

He has insisted this week that he is a football man and will not discuss his private life, but the suspicion grows that if he confined himself to football and resisted the temptation to launch computer games, CDs and new suits he would be less likely to be snared by the Ulrikas of this world.

The irony is that while Sven has had his choice of two women, David Beckham is sleeping alone in an oxygen tent.

It won't help to repair his foot, but maintaining the oxygen level at 15 instead of 21 per cent will apparently simulate high altitude conditions and help him to retain his fitness.

I always thought that lack of oxygen could damage the brain, but we won't concern ourselves with that as long as Beckham can still recognise the opportunity to bend a match-winning free kick into the top corner.

When he broke his foot we were told had it been the fifth or sixth metatarsal he would definitely have been out of the World Cup, but as it was the second he had a chance.

Gary Neville has broken the fifth and must be distraught, as are all those who believe he is irreplaceable in the England team.

Sven must now forget about choosing between Ulrika and Nancy, the far more important choice is between Danny Mills and Gary Neville's brother Phil FOR Alan Shearer to pass 200 Premiership goals is a terrific achievement, but it is no reason to start clamouring for his return to the international stage.

Shearer enjoyed a very good England career and after his injury problems he took the very sensible decision that if he wanted to keep playing effectively for his beloved Newcastle he needed the look after his body.

That meant cutting out the rigours of international combat and his form this season suggests that he has been the better for it.

Naturally he wants to play his full part in Newcastle's return to the Champions League and he should leave the younger generation to sweat buckets for their country in Japan It is unlikely that Shearer was deliberately trying to conserve energy, but his celebration of his 200th goal were distinctly muted compared with Lomana LuaLua's quadruple backward somersault upon notching his second goal in two games.

What a pity he has dedicated himself to the Democratic Republic of Congo, otherwise he would be a certainty for the British gymnastics team at the Commonwealth Games.

AS people like Michael Atherton and the editor of Wisden continue to question the value of cricket's County Championship there is a deeply worrying trend of bringing in more imports.

Allowing two overseas players per team next season is bad enough, but even worse is the race to snap up any half decent player with an EU passport.

Middlesex, residents of English cricket's headquarters, have signed three, Nottinghamshire took on two South Africans last season, and Gloucestershire have signed former New Zealand Test player Craig Spearman who has a Welsh mother. There are several others.

The Professional Cricketers' Association have looked into it and discovered that under EU employment law any objection would be laughed out of court.

In their first two matches of the season, Durham have suffered at the hands of two imports - Sven Koenig and Mohammad Ali - making their debuts in the championship at the age of 28.

Obviously they are never going to play for England, and the question has to be asked if the championship does not exist to produce players for England, what is it for? It certainly cannot be justified on the grounds of entertaining crowds of a few hundred.

AS Hartlepool have timed their run perfectly and seem to be peaking at the right time, it will be no surprise if they make it third time lucky in the play-offs.

The interesting spin-off from this will be that the chances of their mascot, H'Angus the Monkey, being elected mayor will be even brighter.

Published: 26/04/2002