TURNING JAPANESE . . . The column yesterday championed the cause of The Vapours' 80s hit Turning Japanese to be used as the BBC1 theme tune for their World Cup coverage.

We didn't expect Ronaldo and Diego Tristan to back us so publicly so soon . . .

ENGLAND WATCH

Four years ago the England players kept themselves amused by dropping song titles into their TV interviews.

"We aren't exactly dancing on the ceiling. We are keeping our feet on the ground." - Alan Shearer, who also slipped in "Oh, what a feeling" in the same interview.

Phil Collins' fan Shearer, when asked about Scotland's chances, said: "They can still do it, but now it's against all odds!"

When Wham! fan Gareth Southgate was asked how the England team was leaked to the press before the Tunisia game he said: "Well, you always get a lot of careless whispers in football."

He followed up by replying to a question about the state of the England hotel: "It's not exactly Club Tropicana!"

This year they have a new challenge and Rio Ferdinand wasted no time in rising to the secretly agreed task of getting a French reply into any television interview.

Asked by Des Lynam about France's shock defeat to Senegal in a post-match interview, back came the inevitable: ''c'est la vie.'' Del Boy would have been proud of him.

A BAD DAY FOR PUNS

Takayuki Suzuki appeared for Japan yesterday. Cue Robbie Earle: "I have to say it, but Suzuki just motored on."

Mauricio Wright (the name on the back of his shirt was printed as Wrigth) netted Costs Rica's second goal yesterday against China and as Gary Lineker chuckled to himself after telling both people watching the least-appealing game of the tournament that "I thought they would have spelled his name Wright", Mark Lawrenson chipped in with "It's no good for your image Wrights." Very poor.

Commentators' Cock Ups

Thanks to Tom Purvis in Sunderland who heard Terry Venables giving a woeful geography lesson after the French-Senegal opener.

" Well if any country should know about Senegal, most don't; but it certainly would be France because that's where they play."

THE bit on the side guide to Cameroon

*Cameroon's German coach Winfried Schafer became the fourth man to coach Cameroon in 2001 when he took charge last September.

*What do you give the woman who has everything? Well, Cameroon's president presented the country's Queen with a bull elephant called Jumbo to celebrate her silver wedding anniversary in 1972.

*It is well advised not to become involved in a penalty shoot-out with Cameroon. They have won the last two African Nations Cups, plus the 2000 Olympics, on spot-kicks.

*Rigobert Song could land an unwanted hat-trick in the next few weeks. He became the first man to be sent off in two World Cups at France 98.

*Three men were lynched in Cameroon in 1996 by locals who were worried by rumours that "penis-stealers" were stealing men's genitals - with a handshake.

*One of the most popular sporting events in the country is an annual race up and down Mount Cameroon. But runners beware - Mount Cameroon is an active volcano and last erupted as recently as 1999.

FACT OF THE DAY

The latest goal scored in a World Cup game was David Platt's volley against Belgium in 1990 after 119 minutes.