We all knew England only needed to draw with Nigeria, didn't we?

Well, everyone seemed to - apart from Garth Crooks.

As the nation celebrated at the final whistle, safe in the knowledge that England were through no matter what the result of the Argentina v Sweden game, Crooks "excelled" himself.

The world's worst interviewer approached Sven-Goran Eriksson and said: "Sven, first and foremost, I can confirm that you've qualified."

That must have been a relief to old Sven.

l John Motson showed his passion for the English cause. He just couldn't help himself when it came to the news that Argentina were on their way out. "And it's bye bye Batistutua" he chirped when news came through of Sweden's first goal.

l Now they are heading home, can someone please tell Nigeria coach Adegboye Onibinde that the tournament was not a 70s fancy dress party.

l Job for the day. Count how many national newspapers this morning feature the "Don't cry for me Argentina" headline. If you can't be bothered to count, we'll do it for you and bring you the answer tomorrow.

l England are now on a collision course with Brazil. If they beat Denmark, lying in wait will be the winners of Group C or the second-placed side in Group H.

Brazil will win Group C if they can avoid defeat against Costa Rica today, although a loss would see the Central Americans top the pile. Turkey can still claim second place in the group if Brazil win and they defeat China, a scenario which would see the Europeans face likely Group H winners Japan, who can seal top spot with a win over Tunisia tomorrow.

Russia occupy second-place in Group H and look set to go through in that position - and probably face Brazil in round two - if they avoid defeat against third-placed Belgium. If the remaining games follow form Russia and Brazil will meet in round two for the right to face England or Denmark in the quarter-finals.

NEWMAN WATCH

Forget Stig Watch - he's an enemy now - and you can dump Ron Watch. This column has a new man to follow. Step forward Paul Newman, the FA director of communications. We wonder if there has there been an England interview yet without Newman managing to pop up or stroll behind? He's like those star-struck punters you see on Channel 4 Racing who stand behind John McCrirrick at Doncaster Races every week. We are counting - 107, 108, 109 . . .

GETTING SHIRTY

Sky News yesterday morning at 10.04am. Live link from a pub; interview with publican. Suddenly in the background, a girl lifts up her shirt and goes topless. Presenters panic. Superb.