SOMEONE on the wireless said England were through to the second phrase. This is quite an achievement as footballers are known for being unable to string two phrases together.

What would the second phrase be? To be fair, in all fairness, at the end of the day, they did what they had to do.

And there we have it. Against Nigeria, England did what they had to do. You could argue that it was a tactical masterpiece, involving a minimum of effort in the stamina-sapping humidity, with everything geared towards securing the 0-0 draw which ensured an evening kick-off in the second phase, or phrase.

You could also argue that it was a brainless performance as it was obvious after ten minutes that the Nigerian goalkeeper was hopeless at dealing with crosses, yet even after half-time Beckham's first two corners were hit way beyond the keeper's range.

"We're froo," said the captain afterwards, more than happy with the draw. And the lack of goals was dismissed by Steve McClaren with the words: "We would be worried if we wasn't creating chances."

Settling for 0-0 might have induced five minutes of panic when Argentina scored against Sweden, but Nigeria were in on the plot. They passed the ball around as nonchalantly as England in the last few minutes, apparently happy to go home with a point.

You might interpret nonchalant passing as methodical football. Either way, I call it boring and not worthy of delaying my Bran Flakes.

That's why there was much ado about nothing-nothing. It was deflating after the victory against the Argies, when the reaction was such that one wondered what would happen if we actually won the World Cup.

We must brace ourselves for that possibility once the commanding Rio Ferdinand has taken care of Denmark's Jon Dahl Tomasson, whose tally of four World Cup goals is as many as he notched for Newcastle in 30-odd appearances.

Hopefully, we'll cook the Danish bacon, which brings me on to the line of the World Cup so far, offered by Irish boss Mick McCarthy.

Told by an interviewer he looked agitated, he responded: "So would you if you were sitting there with your backside in the bacon slicer."

A pity it was delivered in broad Barnsley, rather than an Irish lilt, but this is one Mick who can be hugely proud of his achievements.

NOT so Mike Tyson, although it was a mighty relief that he behaved with dignity during and after his annihilation by Lennox Lewis.

Had they met 12 years ago it might have been different, as Tyson seemed as invincible then as Tiger Woods does now.

Mental instability proved Tyson's downfall and let's hope he keeps taking whatever medication turned him into the pussycat who hugged Lewis's mum.

Woods remains entirely sane, undistracted by women, drugs or drink, and as determined to tame the wonderfully-named Bethpage Black as Lewis was to conquer Tyson.

Bethpage Black is the Long Island golf course where the US Open is being staged, and with two par fours measuring over 490 yards it's a pretty fearsome proposition, although not so fearsome as Woods is to all his rivals.

MIDDLEHAM trainer Ferdy Murphy may have been a little unfortunate to be one of those duped by an investigative television reporter seeking to discredit racing.

But did he reveal anything which those with even a passing interest in racing did not know already?

I thought it was common knowledge that in most races there are horses performing below their potential with a view to winning at longer odds in future.

It's part of the game, and to present it as some kind of earth-shattering revelation is misleading in itself.

AS this is the column which tries to bring you an alternative to the fast food diet of football, I apologise for devoting half of it to the over-hyped World Cup.

How about walking as an alternative? Is it a sport? Well it features in the Olympics and burns a lot more calories than angling.

Given a rare Saturday off last week, I hit upon the perfect stress-busting, leg-stretching day by joining 20 friends on the bus to Middleton-in-Teesdale, whence we walked back down the Tees to Barnard Castle.

After four miles we stopped at Romaldkirk, where the coffee drinkers visited the dear old Rose and Crown and the beer drinkers went to the Kirk Inn.

There can be few villages of this size in England which boast two pubs of this quality, and long may they continue to co-exist in such perfect harmony.

The nectar-like qualities of the Kirk's Fullers' London Pride delayed our departure on the next leg of the walk to Cotherstone, where the Fox and Hounds proved the ideal lunch stop.

We may have mentioned the football somewhere along the way - I don't recall. But what I do know is that it was infinitely more enjoyable than watching a 0-0 draw against Nigeria. You should try it some time

Published: ??/??/2002