Three cars sit in Michael Gauntlett's drive. There is more chance of his being chosen as Trescothick's opening partner in the third Test against Sri Lanka than there is of even the smallest ever getting into the garage.
It has become a book store, many more volumes in other parts of the house. Altogether he supposes there are 6,000 cricket titles, brochures and pillars of Wisden, from Abel (Surrey and England) to Zoehrer of Australia.
His wife, says Michael, looks on with "amused tolerance".
Officially it is home to Ian Dyer Cricket Books, a seamless meeting of business and pleasure never better illustrated than when he sets up stall at the Riverside in Chester-le-Street.
"I can sell books, watch cricket and have a pint in my hand simultaneously," he says.
He lives in Gilling West, near Richmond, where the village cricket team became a foot-and-mouth victim ("so very sad") but where they still enjoy a social game of quoits.
On the other side of the A66 sits I T Botham, Squire of Ravensworth, among great players whose more humble literary efforts have recently been remaindered for a quid - or six for a fiver. Sir Geoffrey, his benefit brochure as thick as a black pudding sandwich, has suffered similarly.
Recent biographies and autobiographies - "churned out by ghost writers" - tend, says Michael, to have an awfully long shelf life.
He prefers antiquarian books, rarer volumes and his beloved Wisdens. Last week he sold a complete set, including a few facsimiles, for £20,000. "The chap paid in one cheque as well," he says, as if still unable to believe his good fortune.
Michael's father had trials for Warwickshire and is himself mentioned in the 1942 Wisden - the great Jack Hobbs scored one of his "second class" centuries in the match between F T Gauntlett's XI and Ewell School - and instilled an early love of cricket into his receptive son.
The 1942 Wisden is worth around £400, the relatively slim 1916 edition closer to £4,000.
In the trade they are known as "collectable" and Michael Gauntlett, a youthful 62, is clearly a collector's item.
A former Oxfordshire under 13s coach, he'd also been a schoolboy football enthusiast, inspired by the Arsenal in general and D C S Compton in particular but now (he says) wouldn't cross the road to watch a match.
While 90 per cent of available Englishmen watched the Sweden match on Sunday, he listened to Classic FM instead.
He'd followed his father into the paint industry, moved north in 1990 when he became one of the gaffers at Dufay (or whatever it was then called) in Shildon, took early retirement - and began a completely new chapter - five years later.
The business had belonged to his Uncle Ian, father of Robin Dyer, who became a familiar opening partner with Dennis Amiss at Warwickshire. Michael had bought it in 1990.
In the most traditional of games, however, it is the Internet - and the domain name www.cricketbooks.co.uk which shrewdly he registered in 1999 - which has transformed his fortunes.
Seventy five per cent of his business is now done electronically.
Last week he sold a cricket book to someone in Alberta, the week previously to a chap in Manila.
"What would the poor man have done," he wonders. "There can't be many cricket book shops in the Philippines."
His catalogue is updated weekly; if he hasn't got it, he can probably find it. "Obviously one has one's sources," he says.
Jenny, his wife of 37 years, does the packaging and the accounts - the Gauntletts hand in glove - and is also said to make an upper crust sandwich. One of his earlier clubs - in the south of course - even vetted her ability on the tea trail before accepting him as a member.
His own favourite cricket writers include the lamented Arlott, R C Robertson-Glasgow and David Foot but not E W Swanton. ("Perhaps I've read the Telegraph for too long," he says. "The word 'pompous' comes to mind.")
His special interests include Packer, bodyline and throwing. Remember Ian Meckiff, he asks?
Ah, yes, 18 Tests for Australia but after having been no-balled four times in an over in 1984, never again played first class cricket.
David Gower, incidentally, is one of only five players in Test cricket history to have been called for throwing.
"You end up with all sorts of useless information in your head," said Michael.
It would have been possible, of course, to have browsed for many more hours, assimilating a great deal more useless information in the process. Instead we both strolled up to the White Swan, of which he is properly fond, and continued the lunchtime discussion from there.
He'd even turned down an afternoon's golf because there were orders to be sorted and customers to be satisfied: a contented man, doing it by the books.
Still on the book case, the column found its nose in Wisden - Laws of the Game, page 1,426 - within an hour of returning from Gilling West.
It followed a curious incident in the game last Saturday between North Bitchburn and East Rainton second teams when a visiting fielder dropped a catch, but still proved to be in with a shout.
North Bitchburn, where Durham's Pratt brothers have their cricket roots, had advanced from 100-9 to 138-9 against the league leaders when Keith Pinkney clouted the ball into the deep.
Though the fieldsman appeared to be underneath it, Ian Tenwick - the non-striker - yelled "Again" as the batsmen turned.
The fielder dropped it, three runs were eventually completed but East Rainton appealed under Law 37 - "obstructing the field." Pinkney, to North Bitchburn's considerable consternation, was given out.
There was quite a lot of noise after that.
"I've played for 27 years and never known a decision like that," says North Bitchburn's Graham Dunn.
"Everyone shouts in a cricket match. There'd been a little bit of hassle earlier in the game but Ian hadn't even shouted "Drop it", just "Again" to his team mate.
"Their man was 50-60 yards away. I don't see how he could have been put off by it."
Ian Kitching, East Rainton's first team captain and a recently qualified umpire - bit of poacher turned gamekeeper there, mind - insists that the decision was correct.
Law 37 concerns obstruction "by word or action".
The striker is out should obstruction or distraction by either batsman prevent a catch being made, it adds, if in the umpire's opinion the action is wilful.
Ian himself recalls a similar appeal last when East Rainton played Simonside last season - "I withdrew it on condition they kept their mouths shut when the ball was in the air."
The five-letter word appears to have galvanised the home side, however.
"We were really wound up about it like North Bitchburn sides used to be," admits Graham.
"We had our teas, came out and dismissed them for 65. There wasn't much obstruction at all."
And finally...
Tuesday's column wondered who among the present preening of World Cup television pundits had been the last to score a goal in the finals.
It was Robbie Earle, for Jamaica, last time around.
Back on the book shelves, Roger Mason, exiled in Essex, draws attention to this year's Playfair Cricket Annual - "for cricket lovers the best £5.99 you could ever spend."
Careful perusal, adds Roger, reveals players in this season's county championship who were born in Holland, Denmark, Papua New Guinea and the Republic of Ireland, plus Sonny Ramadhin's grandson.
Regular readers, if not Michael Gauntlett, are invited to name them before we return on Tuesday.
Published: 07/06/2002
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