The number of reported cases of domestic violence has risen dramatically during the World Cup. One victim tells Women's Editor Christen Pears why she is not surprised

MELANIE'S husband was a big football fan. He used to invite his friends round to the couple's house to watch matches. They would open a few cans of beer and settle down in front of the TV. But, as Melanie listened to them egging on their favourite team from the next room, a feeling of dread began to well up inside her.

"I knew that, as soon as the match was over, he would start being violent," she explains.

"I used to try to be out if he had his mates round or just keep out of the way. As the match went on, I used to feel sick to my stomach. Sometimes, it would start when his friends were still there, just little things like calling me names and putting me down, but, when they had gone, it would escalate. The violence would really start."

Melanie, who is 30, put up with her husband's violent and abusive behaviour for 11 years before she finally left him in December last year, taking her six-year-old son, James, with her. They fled their home in Liverpool, got on the first train they could, and ended up in Darlington. They had only a few pounds and the clothes they stood up in.

Melanie contacted the borough council, which found her a place in a women's refuge and, after three months there, she now has her own home in the town and she is beginning to rebuild her life.

"It feels as if a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I no longer have to worry every day about what my husband is going to do, whether he's going to be violent. It was like walking on eggshells every day. Getting out was the best thing I ever did."

One in four women experiences some form of domestic violence during her lifetime, but only a tiny proportion of incidents are reported. Often, the woman is too afraid to make a complaint; she may be embarrassed or, in many cases, she still loves her husband or partner and doesn't want to cause trouble for him.

The World Cup matches, combined with the four day Golden Jubilee holiday, resulted in a massive surge in the number of women reporting abuse to the police and seeking shelter in women's refuges around the region, although experts believe the number of women suffering at the hands of their partner was much higher.

"I'm not surprised by the rise in violence during the World Cup but I don't think it's anything to do with the football itself because England's done really well," says Melanie.

"It's not like they've been knocked out and the fans are angry about it. I think it's more to do with the drink. Men watch the match and they drink, and, when they come home or the match is finished, they start having a go at their wives or girlfriends. It was the same over Christmas and the New Year, when I was in the refuge. It's just an excuse to drink. Women were coming in all the time. There were so many, we had to share our rooms."

Claire Seymour, of Darlington Domestic Violence Forum, agrees. "Men who are violent towards women are going to be violent whatever, but the drink makes them lose their inhibitions. They become violent more easily.

"Obviously, the football provided an opportunity for people to get drunk, but the jubilee weekend made the situation worse. People had four days at home, there were lots of opportunities to drink and it just caused a lot of extra stress. But none of it is an excuse. Domestic violence is a crime and it is totally unacceptable."

Melanie's husband, who had problems with alcohol and drugs, regularly hit her or smashed her head against the wall. Once he stabbed her in the leg and he thought nothing of pushing her down the stairs while she was carrying her new-born son.

"You don't need to do anything to provoke a violent person. It can be something tiny like putting their dinner on the plate the wrong way. And if they've been drinking, it can be even worse. I knew if he had been out drinking, there was going to be a greater chance of him being violent. I knew when it would happen. I could see his fists clenching and his jaw twitching. I remember I used to think, 'if you're going to kill me, do it now because I just can't take any more of this'."

Although Melanie's husband never hit James, his actions had a profound effect on the little boy and he still talks about things that happened when he was as young as two.

'He just used to stand behind the couch with his hands over his ears and scream and scream because he wanted his dad to stop hitting me. I couldn't keep putting him through that."

When Melanie finally told her husband she was leaving, he dragged her back into the flat, locked her in and ripped the phone wire out, making her a prisoner in her own home. She managed to escape the following day when she said she was taking James to school, but went to the station instead.

Sitting in Claire's sitting room, she talks freely about her past. Occasionally, she nervously twists one of the rings on her fingers, but on the whole, she's relaxed and confident.

"Melanie's a strong woman but not everyone has her courage. Sometimes they find it difficult even to report an incident of domestic violence. Leaving home is a huge step and sometimes it is too much for some women," says Claire.

"There are other options, such as taking out injunctions to prevent men from visiting the home, fitting new locks and security cameras and if that's what a woman wants, we will support her."

Darlington Domestic Violence Forum has trained more than 200 people in County Durham, ranging from Citizens' Advice Bureau volunteers to social services staff and health professionals, ensuring there is a strong support and advice network for anyone experiencing violence in the home. But Claire would like to see more done.

"People ask why men are violent towards women and the answer is simple - it's because they can. We need to make them accountable for their actions. I would like to see a campaign like the drink driving campaign 20 years ago. That changed social attitudes and we want to do the same with domestic violence. If a man is abusing his wife in front of his friends, we want them to tell him to stop it.

"Domestic violence is a crime and we have to make people realise that. There's never any excuse. Whether a man has been drinking or watching a football match, it doesn't matter. Domestic violence is never acceptable."

* For help or more information, visit Darlington Domestic Violence website at www.ddvf.org, call the Domestic Violence helpline on (01325) 364486, or the Women's Aid national helpline on 0345 023468.