There were two sets of twins on our long terrace in Shildon. We were the older, if not always the wiser.

Whilst it may not necessarily be said that Barry and Derek Johnson had nowt, Barry certainly hadn't a right foot - which is why, circa 1972, he put a ball through the front window of our house.

Until Chris Waddle's errant penalty in the 1990 World Cup finals, it was the most spectacular miscue in football history.

"I was just about to knock on your door to own up when your dad got to the door first," he recalls.

"Your dad wasn't very pleased. My dad stopped my pocket money."

Now 40, Barry has moved on apace. Still in Shildon, he is boss of England's biggest independent closed circuit television surveillance company and - a man clearly to look out for - is tipped to become the first Englishman ever to win the Scottish rally driving championship.

This year he has won three of the first four events. Four remain. "The Scottish lads are finally starting to wake up to the threat to their national honour," he says. "I think they're out to get me now."

His Subaru accelerates from 0-60 in four seconds - on gravel - reaches 120mph through the tortuous Scottish forests, does 4mpg on £20 a gallon turbo fuel, needs a £10,000 engine rebuild every 400 miles and has four on-board computers.

"They do all the work, I just press the pedals," he insists. "It's absolutely awesome to drive."

Whilst he is reluctant to reveal what the car cost - second hand from the world champion - it's fair to say that there wasn't much change from £250,000 with which to play the bandit at Old Shildon Club.

"I had some spare cash and it's a bit of a thoroughbred. It takes big bucks to compete against the big boys," says Barry and so far the thoroughbred's paint work has never had so much as a scratch.

"The exhilaration of 120mph through the forests is unbelievable, but there's so much adrenaline rush that I can be physically sick three times before the start.

"Fortunately I'm able to concentrate, shut everything else out of my mind and just listen to the navigator reading the notes. I've seen some horrific accidents, but I must have been lucky. Those trees can be pretty unforgiving."

Whilst not kicking footballs through the neighbours' bay windows, he and his brother were enthusiastic motor cycle trial riders. Barry won the North-East championship, represented the region, left the saddle at 23.

Like many more in the railway town, he had served an apprenticeship at the wagon works, lost his job when they closed in 1984, moved south to the works at Doncaster. "I gave it a year but got fed up of walking through the streets without anyone asking how I was. That's why we came back to Shildon."

He worked in the security alarm industry, began his own company in 1990, took up golf for "for business purposes" but missed the excitement of speed.

"Vivienne, my wife, could see I was bored so on my 38th birthday bought me a day's rally driving tuition at Croft.

"The instructor wrote 'Must rally' on the bottom of the form. Either he thought I had too much money or I was a bloody good rally driver, probably the first."

In his first season in Scotland he was usually in the top ten. The second was badly hit by foot and mouth disease; this season he is beating the Scots at their own terrain and hopes to go on to the British championship.

Vivienne, the wife who inspired the whole new ball game, remains wholly supportive. "So long as she gets her holidays and the children have their school fees paid, she's behind all the way," says Barry.

Their boys, eight-year-old Thomas and Daniel, 12, are themselves now enthusiastic trials riders. "They're as keen as my brother and I ever were," says their dad - and now there's no need to play football in the street.

Football in cyberspace, an e-mail from Tom Purvis wonders if poor Tommy Sorenson is the first Sunderland player to score in any World Cup finals. Readers may know of a face-saver.

Tony Duffy's World Cup may be taking off at last. Having seen every England game, home and away, for the past six years, the Bishop Auckland FC chairman - and world number one Prisoner Cell Block H nut - has tickets for the final, semi-final and third place play-off.

Flat rate, they've cost him £760.

Tony and regular travelling companion Andy Armstrong had hoped to see earlier England games, too, but were grounded when travel companies demanded everything up front regardless of whether England qualified.

"It's a scandal, they were just ripping us off," says Tony.

Should our lads fail to reach the semi-final, however - "I honestly believe we have every chance, even against Brazil" - their ticket money will be refunded.

Tony, who owns a driving school, is already looking further ahead. The European championships, away to Slovakia, kick off in October.

Relegated after just one long-sought season in the Albany Northern League first division, the lads at Ashington have produced a World Cup edition of their marvellous fanzine Pit Pony Express - and with a free CD, an' all.

The song, in which the names of Chopper Harris and several Brazilians can be discerned, carries the usual warning on such products: "Any unauthorised performance and copying and ya deed."

With all the dignity attached to mayoral office, H'Angus the Monkey (otherwise Stuart Drummond) will be judging the shortest skirt competition at Sedgefield Racecourse ladies' night on July 17.

Other events aimed at attracting the womenfolk include the Ladies' Spacehopper Grand National and the Miss Sedge beauty competition.

Good looks will not be the only criterion. "Interaction with Sedge the Fieldmouse when approached by the 'Hungry for Love' animal may just be enough to sway the judges," says the racecourse press release.

Beneath the headline "Sedgefield shocker for the ladies", Sunday's Observer is appalled. "Sid the Sexist," it concludes, "is alive and well in his North-East lair."

Another familiar touch, Durham County Cricket Club is to replace initials with the players' first names. It can't come too soon for The Northern Echo which throughout the season has listed Gary (Joseph) Pratt as GJGJ Pratt and his wicket keeping brother Andrew as AA Pratt. "Their dad's going scatty," we're told. Computers are initially being blamed; a swift kick up the mainframe may rectify matters.

the team in the World Cup finals which (like Saudi Arabia) conceded eight goals I a group match but went on to win the tournament - Backtrack, June 14 - was West Germany in 1954.

The West Germans lost 8-3 to Hungary but beat the same opponents 3-2 when it really mattered.

Fred Alderton in Peterlee not only knew the right answer nut, as usual, followed with a question of his own. Which Football League club has a crest featuring a book as well as a ball?

Chapter and verse on Friday

Published: 18/06/2002