ALAN Stuttle is a remarkable man. Two months ago, his daughter Caroline was killed while backpacking in Australia.

She either fell or was pushed off a bridge during a robbery in Bundaberg, north Queensland. Now his son is off to New Zealand - with his father's blessing.

That must be so unbearably hard to do. Any parent can feel the heart breaking in sympathy.

Our instinct always is to protect our children, to keep them close. When they're babies, it's easy enough. The tricky time comes when they're older and want their freedom. And that's when we must really let them go - whether it's walking to school alone at ten, or jetting to the other side of the world at 20.

The more dangerous the world gets, the more our children need to learn to cope with it. And, when they're almost grown up, the more they need to discover the excitement and magic of it.

"I am frightened of letting Richard go. I'd like to keep him here." Alan Stuttle said in a BBC interview this week, "But you can't keep your children safe for ever."

And he of all people, knows that. His thoughts echo a plea he made at the time of Caroline's death, encouraging other parents to let their children follow their dream, despite the risks. "If you love your children, you have to let them go."

And in a few weeks, hundreds of parents tripping over shiny new back packs in the hall, organising vital jabs and insurance, pleading with their gap year children to keep in touch, would do well to cling on to Alan Stuttle's words.

The papers these days, when not full of death and disaster, are concerned with more prosaic problems - student debt, soaring house prices, pathetic pensions. You should get on the housing ladder as soon as possible, we tell our children, start saving for your pension now.

Rubbish. Such advice - sensible though it may be - smacks of the prison house confining young dreams. They will have world enough and time to sort themselves out when they've shaken the dust off their feet.

Our fears for their safety are our problem, not theirs, and we should keep them to ourselves so our children are unencumbered and free to go where they will.

For what is the point of a life lived safely if it is lived in resentment, or hardly lived at all?

FORCED to return early from the World Cup to take up Best Man duties in Newcastle, (now that's what I call devotion to friendship), but ecstatic to have seen England beat Argentina, my nephew was surprised to find loads of England fans on the train to Tokyo. They had no luggage with them.

"You're not going home are you?" he asked.

Not a bit, they said. They were making the two-hour return journey to Tokyo airport just in the hope that there would be plenty of unhappy Argentinans there, disconsolately making their way home, so they could make a point of waving them goodbye.

The World Cup does so much for international friendship, wouldn't you say?

KYLIE Minogue turned up at a party looking stunning, dressed to the nines in a Greek-style dress and matching ringlets. Meanwhile, boyfriend James Gooding wore a jumper, crumpled shirt and a bobble hat, looking as though he was staggering out for a hangover cure. Do you think they're really well matched?

AFTER nearly 25 years and around half a million miles, I've just had my first ticket for speeding. There were, of course, extenuating circumstances. Honest.

Now we hear that the government is promising an even greater crackdown on speeding with more cameras and bigger fines. Quite right. Speed kills. There would be fewer accidents and less damaging accidents if more people were made to drive more slowly. I'm in total support of the policy.

I just wish they hadn't started with me...

BEAM me up Scotty! Scientists in Australia are working on the beginnings of what could evolve into a teleportation system - just like in Star Trek. In many years time, it could, say experts, solve the problem of catching the train or plane to get you from A to B.

Not for me, thank you.

As it is, you can arrive in Majorca while your luggage is in Tenerife. How much worse if you were there, but your left ear was still at home, and your leg somewhere in atoms in cyberspace.

No, for all their faults, I think I'll stick with flight delays and confusion. At least all of me will be delayed in one place.

Published: 19/06/2002