THE politically correct obviously stayed away in droves from the opening night of J B Priestley's classic Northern comedy When We Are Married, which began Darlington Civic Theatre's repertory season this week.

A silver wedding party goes sadly awry to expose old scores and grudges and a domineering wife finally blows her top, slaping her timid husband across the face. Two sentences later, timid no longer, he slaps her back and, on Tuesday, got a spontaneous round of applause.

Spectator's mole in the dress circle, hands in lap, was torn between the "serves her right" sentiment of being carried away by the excellent acting and discomfort at the apparent condoning of even a fictional slap.

Message received

THE old adage "what I tell you three times is true" must be a policy statement at the Department for the Environment, Food and Rural Affairs in the midst of all the speculation about spin, mirrors and smoke elsewhere in Whitehall.

Last week our farming editor had to believe that Northumbrian sheep farmer Jon Monks was on target for success, thanks to Defra's help, with his own brand of diversification - route packs for ramblers - as details arrived three times. An e-mail was soon followed by two faxes; all three were word-for-word identical.

The words "waste" and "good housekeeping" come to mind long before the word "spin".

Culture clash

THE mayor of Richmond's penchant for live music is well known but even he was taken aback when a recent town council meeting was interspersed with rousing renditions of music hall songs from the next room.

A temporary shift in the council's meetings diary meant members, who normally meet on the last Monday of the month, shared the town hall with the WI. An enthusiastically sung Jerusalem was followed by equally loud choruses of Daisy Daisy, My Old Man Said Follow the Van and other greats.

Feel good factor

ENGLAND's performances in the World Cup have had an amazing effect on the sale of condoms and pain-killers, Spectator can report.

This week Safeway announced that the morning after the second round win over Denmark, condom sales doubled and 750,000 headache tablets were sold - a record.

Sales of calming herbal teas were also up by 70pc, while bacon, snacks, beer and hangover cures also sold well.

There may also be a run on white paint thanks to England's progress.

There is a theory that the idiot who managed to cover the Hurworth village post box with the stuff had thought he, or she, could create a flag of St George by using masking tape to create the red cross when the paint was poured over the postbox?

It certainly didn't work out that way and the finished result was just a mess. Full marks, however, to the Post Office for cleaning it up so quickly.