THE World Cup has been bedevilled by accusations of cheating. South Korea, the hosts, had five legitimate-looking goals scored against them disallowed.

The Brazilian Rivaldo was hit on the knee, poor lad, and collapsed in great pain holding his face which ensured that his opponent was sent off.

But there is worse, far worse. The cheating doesn't end on the pitch. The public is being fooled too.

We learned this week that the Adidas footballitis adverts which purport to feature David Beckham don't. Instead, it is a lookalike called Andy from Eastbourne.

Andy spent a fortnight in Madrid pretending to be Mr Beckham for the Pepsi sumo adverts, which you may also have seen in between the football. On set he became friendly with a fellow called Mario who doubles for not one, but two Portugese players, Rui Costa and Luis Figo.

Is there no end to this corruption?

TALKING sport, the BBC has the rights to Wimbledon. Monday was the first day of this famous tournament. In the evening, the BBC summed up the events in its hour-long highlights package.

Given that Wimbledon is a tennis tournament, you might have expected the programme to be packed with tennis. But no. It was full of snooker. The programme's guest was Peter Ebdon, world snooker champion. Although it was his first visit to Wimbledon and although he admitted that he had "little knowledge of tennis", he was asked to analyse the day's play and discuss who would win. Beside him in a very big harrumph sat John McEnroe, whose silence was far more eloquent.

COUNCILLORS in Darlington have agreed to license the town's third sex shop. Darlington now has more sex shops than the rest of the North-East put together.

Some say this will make the town the sex capital of the region; others say it is proof that Darlington is the sexiest place in the North-East.

Understandably, the council had plenty of letters of complaint about the proposed shop. However, while the complainant below makes many valid points, one wonders whether there is a very Freudian slip in the sentence about the street - Bondgate - on which the shop is to open:

"and to place another sex shop ... into the town does not, I feel, set the correct tone... Bondage needs to give a positive image of the town..."

FASCINATING news from Norfolk where a preserved Ice Age butcher's shop has been discovered. In it are remains of mammoths, rhinoceros and reindeer which, 40,000-60,000 years ago, Neanderthal man or woman would have been buying for the Sunday joint.

Archaeologists don't yet know how the mammoths were killed, who carved them up or why so many of them should be together. The answer to the latter is obvious: it is a dump because, even 50,000 years ago, the French were blocking British meat exports.