The answer was Seamus O'Connell, his claim to fame even more remarkable than Friday's column had supposed.
We'd sought the identity of the player who scored a hat-trick against Manchester United on his first division debut, finished on the losing Chelsea side in a match which ended 6-5 and, 12 years later, was still playing in the Northern League as an amateur.
What we'd not realised was that O'Connell - an Englishman, despite his name - was the only player ever to win a first division championship medal and an FA Amateur Cup winners' medal in the same season.
His Stamford Bridge debut had been on October 16 1954, Dennis Violett also hitting a hat-trick for the visitors. "Chelsea were far from disgraced," observed The Northern Echo, not unreasonably.
That same afternoon, Newcastle drew 4-4 with Spurs despite the debut of centre-half William Patterson, signed for £20,000 from Doncaster Rovers, 3,000 travelling fans - "the biggest away following the club has ever had" - saw Darlington lose 3-1 at York, Charlie Wayman inspired Boro to a 2-0 win over Manchester City and Bishop Auckland, without their star inside left, still beat Billingham Synthonia 4-2.
George Baker from St Helen's Auckland recalls that Welsh amateur international Jim Lewis also played for Chelsea on that unforgettable October afternoon; Keith Belton from Stockton has the FA year book containing both team pictures; Fred Claydon from Shildon suspects the influence of legendary Chelsea scout Walter Maires in luring O'Connell - "the best amateur footballer I ever saw" - to the south.
Memory suggests that Walter, an Evenwood coal merchant, was also a formidable fighter in the leek trenches.
O'Connell, remembered as a cattle dealer from Carlisle, had earlier scored twice in three Football League appearances for Middlesbrough, hit 11 in 16 games in Chelsea's championship season under Ted Drake - but was back in the famous two blues for the Bishops' 2-0 win over Hendon at Wembley.
He was born on New Year's Day 1930, won another Amateur Cup medal with Bishop Auckland the following season, was capped four times as an amateur, also played for Queens Park, Crook Town, Penrith and, briefly, for Carlisle United.
For the past 20 years he has owned a bar and restaurant and played golf in Spain, where Backtrack Irregulars (including the resourceful Arnold Alton in Heighington) are eagerly on his trail. We expect more from the Costa del Sunshine shortly.
Our own weather at last having permitted, we caught up with the final hour of Durham's county championship match at Feethams on Thursday - and had been there two minutes before reluctantly being freewheeled towards the bar.
"A break in my training routine," said superfit cyclist Steve Davies, now 50 and preparing for a serious assault on the World Masters in Australia in October.
Possibly a bit old for the Commonwealth Games, the flying Ferryhill Wheeler will instead by the official velodrome commentator, the spokesmen's spokesman.
The Usual Suspects included Surreal Neil, he who collects telephone exchanges, and Gordon Nicholson - former Northern League secretary, long-time Bishop Auckland wicketkeeper and world champion trencherman - who'd been spotted leaving early when Durham were six wickets down before lunch on the first day.
"Not going for your dinner already, are you?" someone asked.
"No," said Gordon, "I'm going for my bat." Old Nic is 76.
A room at the Birmingham Hilton is £245, £55 less - if Saturday's Guardian is to be believed - than the cost of keeping a remand prisoner overnight in a West Midlands police cell.
Whether or not the bridewell has Sky Sports (probably it has), there's no such thing at the Hilton, which explains why on Saturday evening we were reduced to following the cricket's closing overs on Teletext.
It was the FA's annual weekend conference for league administrators, a pint of fizzy beer £2.95, a wine and soda £5.35 - the same thing's 93p in Chester-le-Street, or at least where Northern League secretary Tony Golightly imbibes.
Last year, as FA officials still remember, the column got quite bolshy after the conference. This time there was a talk by John Peters, the Tornado pilot captured and tortured by the Iraqis in 1991.
He's now a professional motivator. "It's a rather more vintage audience than I'm accustomed to," he said, again flying by the seat of his pants.
Since his central theme seemed to be about not letting the so-and-so's grind you down, it was a slightly curious choice to offer a bunch of occasionally obstreperous football administrators. We behaved impeccably, nonetheless.
Back in Crook, golf club members - including the column's old friend Ian "Boss Hogg" Hawley - were dressing down for a match between Sunderland and Newcastle supporters.
"Crook's split between them, it can be a very touchy subject," says Boss.
This was more relaxed, a charity match suggested by new captain Neil 'Lofty' Harker.
"The club has a very strict dress code. I had to go to the committee for permission to wear football shirts," he says.
Neil hopes to raise £3,000 during his year in office to buy an electric walking frame for eight-year-old Chloe Reid, from Howden-le-Wear, who has cerebral palsy. Other events include an auction in December, for which Sunderland striker Kevin Phillips has already given a shirt; this one was won 49-25 by Sunderland.
"If it had been a boxing match it would have been stopped in the first round, that's how easy it was," says Neil.
The captain was strictly neutral, of course. He supports Liverpool.
Lest the achievement be subsumed within the small print, it should be noted that the Demon Donkey Dropper of Eryholme bagged 6-53 in the neighbourhood tussle with Rockcliffe Park on Saturday and no matter that Rockliffe still won. The Demon is 61 (at least).
Last Tuesday's column touched upon the Wimbledon triumphs of the Rev John Thorneycroft Hartley, Vicar of Burneston near Bedale, and upon the grizzly doings of Vere St Leger Goold, his opponent in the 1879 final.
Tom Purvis, Fascinated of Sunderland, has been digging a little more deeply into the mystery.
Goold and his wife, we said, had been convicted of murder after the dismembered body of a Swedish woman was found in a trunk left at Monte Carlo railway station. Goold died on the Devil's Island penal colony.
Tom not only reveals that they'd arrived in Monte Carlo on the 5.38am train, not only adds that the porter smelled a rat (or something equally malodorous) but that other bodily parts were found in a handbag.
"A handbag?" echoes Tom (as did Lady Bracknell before him). "Which bodily parts were in the handbag?"
The Times in August 1907 reported that Mr and Mrs Goold gave "about 20 different versions" of the matter to French investigators. Translated, they amounted to "Not me, guv." The judiciary begged to differ.
Tom, in the manner of Alfred Hitchcock - "I seem to recall one of Hitch's films in which the main protagonist was a professional tennis player" - fancies making a film of it.
"All I need now," he says, "is a producer."
* Following his honorary mention in last week's column, the Rev Clive Mansell - the admirable present Vicar of Burneston and neighbouring parishes since 1989 - tells us that he is to become Archdeacon of Tonbridge, in Kent. He expects to head south in October.
So finally, readers are invited to identify the present Premiership manager who became the first player to score a hat-trick against Rangers at Ibrox.
All's uncovered again on Friday.
Published: 16/07/2002
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