PANETTI'S is so English that there's a picture of W G Grace on the wall, so Italian that you want to throttle the one-tone tenor on the tape machine.
For all anyone knows, or cares, he is singing Benito Mussolini knew my father, Father knew Benito Mussolini, only singing it in some incomprehensible language.
W G Grace, on the other hand, had no known connection with Italy (or singing) but was utterly formidable with a cricket bat and said by disgruntled opposing wicket keepers not to wash behind his ears.
If it may therefore be described as Anglo-Italian, the notion seems entirely sensible - not least in a conservative North Yorkshire market town like Bedale, where Nino Curla opened his new venture a little over a year ago.
Locals clearly agree. The place teemed when we looked in last Tuesday lunchtime, a little Jack Horner of a table all that remained, beneath a poster for Player's Navy Cut. Previously it was Plummers restaurant, where once we'd met Keith Floyd. Mr Floyd constantly replenished his glass, but still knew his artichokes from his elderflower.
Mr Curla and his wife previously had the Romanby Court in Northallerton, decided on a fresh challenge ("all they serve in Northallerton is three course meals") and opened Panetti's - a bistro, basically - and the up-market Chambers Restaurant next door.
There's an old English fireplace - copper pots, bellows - alongside adverts for Italian wine, sticky toffee on the pudding menu above tiramisu, pizza, pasta and (very nearly) pork pie. They'll even do cream teas.
Nino talks of increasing the Italian influence, but would probably be wiser to retain the Emperor Claudius role and have a foot in both camps.
We began, a single starter, with Tuscany bean soup and lots of hot toasted garlic bread (£3.50). Whilst it was fine, had someone asked how the minestrone was you'd probably not have said: "It's not minestrone, it's Tuscany bean."
The Boss ordered marlin with courgettes and a shellfish sauce, which was appropriate because - after a visit that morning to the Wensleydale Railway at nearby Leeming Bar - we'd been wondering why railway wagons are called dogfish, and salmon and shark.
Since it clearly has nothing to do with what's in the truck, some of the old Bank Top brigade - Mr Bill Lake, perhaps, or Mr Andy Findlay - may be able to offer enlightenment.
The admirable waitresses, almost literally run off their feet, should nonetheless have explained that the marlin would first have to be caught in Bedale Beck, or somewhere - not everyone has such long lunch hours as the column.
The Boss, who has a degree in such literary matters, began quoting Ernest Hemingway who (apparently) was a keen marlin fisherman when not wondering for whom the bell might toll.
When finally her lunch arrived, a wasp arrived simultaneously. The Boss tried to swat it with a sign advertising real dairy ice cream. The wasp stuck out its tongue and fled, thereby missing a treat.
The marlin was fresh, firm and full of flavour. Good accompanying vegetables, too.
We'd ordered a "warm chicken salad" and can therefore offer the unsolicited advice that "warm" in a salad bowl context is now shorthand for "Forget all about a boiled egg, half a dozen radishes and some scallions."
So it proved, This was a more-ish mix of chicken, bacon, salami, sultanas and one or two things with a handsome dressing and assorted, finely chopped greenery. For £6.50, it was the best dish of its kind in ages.
The tiramisu, like the summer fruit torte, didn't quite live up to high expectations - bought in probably, and lacking in a certain vivacity. With coffee and a couple of soft drinks apiece the bill still didn't reach £30.
If Panetti's persists in this cute continental quirkiness it could be a really interesting find: when in Bedale, do as the Romans do.
* Panetti's, North End, Bedale (01677 425270). Open Tuesday-Saturday, 10am-9.30pm.
RELUCTANTLY put on the map earlier this year, and for reasons we need not revisit, Manfield is a few miles west of Darlington. The Crown, the village pub, holds its first real ale festival from August 30-September 1.
Recently named Darlington CAMRA's country pub of the year, the revitalised inn is owned by Ralph Wilkinson, who also has the celebrated 22 Coniscliffe Road in town.
On the wall there's a copy of Mr Kipling's much quoted poems about Ifs: if they hadn't run out of sparkling mineral water, The Boss would have been even more impressed.
Regular beers include the impeccable White Boar from Village Brewer, food majors on baguettes (£3.50) with proper crisps and a bit of salad.
The festival promises 20 real ales, a curry night on the Friday and a bring-your-own-barbecue the following evening. Marquee and music, too. Something else to remember Manfield by.
MORE real ale news... Deuchars IPA, brewed by Caledonian in Edinburgh, won the supreme award at last week's Great British beer festival at Olympia - "a drink with enormous drinkability," said the judges, profoundly. The nearest the North-East came to the awards was second in the bitter class (behind Deuchars IPA) for Viking, made by the Viking Brewery on a former World War II airfield at Tockwith, near York...
The Victoria Hotel at Robin Hood's Bay has received Cleveland CAMRA's pub of the year award for the second time in three years - Cameron's ales reckoned so well kept that the head brewer drinks there. Much nearer Cameron's home, the Causeway in Hartlepool is the CAMRA branch's pub of the season...
The superb Grey Horse in Consett holds its fourth beer festival from August 26-28 - and as they happily point out, with buses from Durham and Newcastle to the doorstep...
A CAMRA survey published at the Great British Beer Festival also showed that the average pint of real ale in the UK costs £1.92, against £2.11 for lager. In the North-East the average pint is £1.91 - down a penny on last year - while lager is £2.01...
The Ship Inn at High Hesleden, north of Hartlepool - "a real ale oasis in the desert that is east Durham," says landlord Anthony Pearce, not unreasonably - pours its first beer festival from August 24-26. There'll be more than 30 beers plus a car boot sale on the Sunday morning, bands all day Monday and karaoke any time someone can be persuaded to open his mouth...
Darlington CAMRA's Rhythm 'n' Brews festival is at the Arts Centre from September 12-14 but more of that, with luck, later.
...and finally, the bairns wondered if we knew what's furry, has whiskers and chases outlaws.
A posse cat, of course.
Published: 13/08/2002
Comments: Our rules
We want our comments to be a lively and valuable part of our community - a place where readers can debate and engage with the most important local issues. The ability to comment on our stories is a privilege, not a right, however, and that privilege may be withdrawn if it is abused or misused.
Please report any comments that break our rules.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article